Mr Garrison in combatants will be dispatched!
In the Spanish poll I conducted, Mr. Garrison in Combatants Will Be Dispatched was ranked second after Uncle Isekai in Konosuba!
(Mr. Garrison sits in front of the television, watching the news, his face grim.)
Newscast: (on television) Breaking news! A renowned millionaire doctor from Japan, along with his five daughters, has decided to move to the small town of South Park.
(Mr. Garrison remains silent as he listens, clearly disturbed.)
Mr. Garrison: (thinking aloud) What the hell?! Five daughters?
And in other news, the Japanese Biological Company, Kisaragi, is under investigation for genetically grafting human DNA into laboratory rats here in South Park. This photo of a rat
Newscast: This photo of a rat genetically altered to grow a human ear has sparked a wave of protest.
Mr. Garrison: What?
Newscast: But scientists say it can help thousands of disfigured people who need ears or noses.
Mr. Garrison: Don't fuck with me.
(In the Kisargi lab at Southpark headquarters. In the center of the room, Mr. Garrison enters.)
Doctor 1: Using common genetics and cartilage, we can graft almost any limb onto a rat and let it develop. As you saw on TV, once the ear forms, it can be transplanted onto another person.
Mr. Garrison: Doctor, if I give you some of my DNA, can you grow a penis on a rat for me?
Doctor 1: You don't understand. This is too expensive to test with appendages other than ears and noses. There's no guarantee it'll work.
Mr. Garrison: I'll give you all my money if you just try, please, doctor. I'm a man with a severed limb, trapped in a woman's body.
Doctor 1: I'll see what I can do.
Months later
Mr. Garrison returns to the lab. A cage contains a tiny mouse with a humanoid appendage growing from its back. Mr. Garrison enters, noting with interest the success of his funding.
Doctor 1: I think you'll be pleased with the results, Mrs. Garrison. Your DNA was successfully reproduced.
Mr. Garrison: (Muttering)
"Wow, that looks good... Finally, something that might fix the mess I made of my body."
(The lead scientist nods proudly, displaying a sinister smile.)
Scientist:
"The graft is ready, Ms. Garrison. After this procedure, you'll be a man again."
Mr. Garrison:
(Excited)
"I can finally regain my dignity. No more regrets, no more humiliation."
**South Park Elementary School**
Principal: Students and faculty, please give a round of applause and a warm welcome for Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison:
Thank you very much. It's good to be back. I'm a man again, thanks to my special new friend. Wait... This all feels very quiet. "Something feels dead around here."
The principal would signal for Mr. Garrison to be quiet, showing him a photo in the newspaper.
Newspaper headline:
"Tragedy at elementary school! Three students lose their lives in an accident."
Mr. Garrison:
(Surprised and confused)
"Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny are dead? LOL!! This is unbelievable. This day just keeps getting better."
in the cemetery. Garrison is dancing on the children's graves, singing a modified version of "Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead" while holding a martini.)
Mr. Garrison:
(Singing)
"Ding-dong, the annoying kids are dead... Finally, peace in my classroom."
(As he basks in his small moment of joy, two figures in black suits approach him. One of them shows him an insignia with a futuristic logo: Kisaragi Corporation.)
Agent 1:
"Mr. Herbert Garrison? We're from the Kisaragi Corporation. We've been monitoring your recent investment in the genetic mouse. I must say it was a complete success."
Mr. Garrison:
(Nonchalantly)
"Well, thanks, but I'm enjoying my moment now. Come back later."
Agent 2:
(Smiling sinisterly)
"We didn't come to congratulate you. We came to recruit you. The Kisaragi Corporation has big plans, and we believe you're key to them, having shown complete compatibility with your cloned and enhanced appendage."
Mr. Garrison:
(Sarcastically)
"Me? Please! I'm an electronics engineer and I work as an elementary school teacher."
Agent 1:
"Don't worry. You won't be doing the experiments, nor will you be funding them. You will be the experiment."
(Garrison backs away, alarmed, as the agents surround him.)
Mr. Garrison:
(Angrily)
"Oh, no! What do you think I am, a guinea pig?"
Agent 2:
"Your funding of Penis Creation was just the beginning. It opened Kisaragi's eyes to 'upgrades' to something... more ambitious."
Kisaragi Corporation Lab
(Garrison wakes up strapped to an operating table, surrounded by futuristic machinery. In front of him, a screen displays a three-dimensional model of his body, with planetary modifications. (Adas.)
Kisaragi Scientist Lilith:
"Welcome to the future, Mr. Garrison. I'm Lilith, Kisaragi's executive and its chief scientist. Soon, you'll be the super mutant you always wanted to be, even if you didn't know it."
Mr. Garrison:
(Sarcastically)
"Oh, great! Because I always wanted to be some kind of Frankenstein's monster with better reflexes."
(Lilith's winged scientist leans toward him with a disturbing smile.)
Kisaragi Scientist:
"Trust us. This will be... revolutionary."
Lilith: This will be the birth of our first mutant, Mouse-Man.
After the operation, Mr. Garrison sits on a stretcher, covered in scars, but with a renewed and confident posture. The Kisaragi Corporation scientists watch with a mixture of pride and apprehension.
Scientist 1: (enthusiastically) It's a resounding success! The subject has reached 150% of his previous physical capacity.
Scientist 2: And his neurocybernetic implants are perfectly integrated. I believe the mouse-man is ready for his first mission.
Mr. Garrison: (rising from the gurney, inspecting his arms) Well, well, look at this! Finally, I have the body I always wanted. Strong, agile, and with a limb I can show off! Thank you, science and corporate capitalism!
Scientist 1: (with a nervous smile) We're glad you're satisfied, sir. Now, the Kisaragi Corporation has big plans for you.
Mr. Garrison: (crossing his arms) What kind of plans? If it's about ruining the lives of hippies, communists, and those stupid PTAs, I'm in!
Scientist 2: (handing him a holographic device) Right in your area of expertise. This is your first mission: infiltrate the government of the Green Chair Republic, a country that's obstructing our global operations.
Mr. Garrison: (looking at the information on the hologram) The "Green Chair"? Those organic coffee pacifists? Of course I hate them! Always signing petitions for things like "ban hamburger meat" and "promote mandatory yoga." Enough of that nonsense!
[Mr. Garrison, dressed in a fluorescent black Kisaragi tactical suit, walks through the streets of a bright, minimalist city. Beside him, a Kisaragi agent gives him instructions.]
Kisaragi Agent: Your task is simple, Mr. Garrison. Destabilize the government by infiltrating its communications networks and sabotaging its electrical infrastructure.
Mr. Garrison: (laughing) Easy peasy! They don't even need my new muscles for that. Just give me access to their servers, and I'll ruin their group meditations in less than 24 hours.
Kisaragi Agent: After that, you'll lead a small army to take control of the presidential palace.
Mr. Garrison: (excited) An army, you say! Finally, someone who appreciates my natural leadership!
[Hours later, at the presidential palace. Mr. Garrison, now armed with a rocket launcher and surrounded by Kisaragi soldiers, confronts the Green Chair President]
President: Violence is not the way, my friend. There's always room for dialogue.
Mr. Garrison: (sarcastic) Oh, right! Let's have a "dialogue" about why your country is still so boring. How can you be president of a place that prohibits beer parties?
President: (sighs) Maybe you should think about why you're so angry.
Mr. Garrison: (laughs as he loads the rocket launcher) Oh, I've thought about it. I've thought about how I hate your face. Goodbye, hippie!
We're at a broadcast celebrating the "liberation" of the Green Chair from the Kisaragi Corporation.
Executive: Excellent work, mouse man. Thanks to you, we have full access to the Green Chair's resources.
Mr. Garrison: (proudly) Well, I don't want to brag... but of course I do! Finally, I'm doing something that makes sense in this crazy world.
Executive: (with an enigmatic smile) And we're just getting started. Soon you'll have more missions, more enemies to crush... and more power.
Mr. Garrison: (laughing) Bring them on! If I can squash more idiots and help the corporation rid the world of ideologies I don't like, I will.
So we find Mr. Garrison leading coups, destroying symbolic monuments, and eliminating rival leaders, all with a wicked grin.
Mr. Garrison: (glancing sideways) Hey, Stuffed Tiger, do you always make all that noise before a fight?
Tiger Man: (still stretching) Nyaa~ Mr. Garrison, this isn't noise, it's the warm-up of an elite warrior. A body like this doesn't stand on its own! ... nyaa.
Mr. Garrison: (raising an eyebrow) What the heck is that? nyaa?
Tiger Man: (laughing) Oh, you don't understand! Young girls adore adorable felines like me, that's why I say nyaa. But my true dream... (looks at the horizon dramatically) is to be one of them someday. Nyaa~
Mr. Garrison: (horrified) What? What the hell? Are you talking about?
Tiger Man: (with a dreamy smile) I want Lilith to turn me into a little girl. It would be perfect. I could play in parks, wear pretty dresses, and... (sighs) experience the innocence of childhood again. Nyaa!
Mr. Garrison: (covering his face with his hand) I was once a woman, and I don't recommend it. Besides, you're never really a woman; you're just a man with a mutilated penis. And to be little, they'd have to remove bones. In short, that wouldn't be real.
Tiger Man: Don't say that, Mouse Man! Nyaa! Kisaragi's experiments are based on research so that I don't look like, but BE, you and your penis. Nyaa!
Mr. Garrison: (huffing) Well, I warned you!
Tiger Man: (screaming while roaring) Here comes Tiger Man, the child lover! Nyaa!
Mr. Garrison: (whispering) This guy's a psychopath. But you know what? I like him.
Astaroth: (crossing his arms) It's official. The Earth is ours.
Lilith: (adjusting her glasses) Except for that island... but, honestly, sending Tiger Man will do the trick. I'd rather focus on the next step.
Astaroth: (smiling) Interstellar conquest.
Mr. Garrison: (entering the room, covered in dirt and blood) What's going on here? Are you done playing with the planet?
Lilith: Exactly, Mouseman. Now we seek to expand to other worlds. There's a universe full of civilizations waiting to be subjugated.
Astaroth: (pointing to the machine) Welcome, Mr. Garrison. Allow me to introduce you to the masterpiece of our interstellar conquest: the Kisaragi Teleportation Machine, designed and perfected by our brilliant executive, Lilith.
Lilith: (, proud) That's right. This machine can send our agents to any planet within our exploration range. So far, the success rate is 100%.
Mr. Garrison: (looking at the machine suspiciously) 100% success, huh? That sounds too good to be true. How many trips has this thing made?
Lilith: (with a evasive smile) Oh, enough to confirm its effectiveness.
Mr. Garrison: (raising an eyebrow) That doesn't answer my question. How many?
Lilith: (quickly changing the subject) Look! Here's your equipment for the mission.
Lilith: This is Mr. Hat. He's a robot assistant who will help you integrate into the world you're being sent to. When you manipulate it, it'll look like a ventriloquist's puppet. This way, it won't arouse suspicion.
Mr. Garrison: (looking at the stuffed animal in disbelief) Mr. Hat? Really? How did they do it? That's something he abandoned years ago.
Mr. Hat: Hello, Mouse Man! I'm here to help you and record everything. Every bad action you do will be rewarded with bad points that you can then exchange for useful tools and resources!
Mr. Garrison: (looking at Lilith) What the heck does "bad points" mean?
Lilith: (smiling) Oh, yeah. As a preventative measure, we implanted a chip in your head. Every time you perform a... questionable action, you'll earn bad points. These points can be used to redeem gear during the mission. It's an efficient way to motivate you.
Mr. Garrison: (sarcastic) Oh, great. They've had access to my memories this whole time. Why am I not surprised?
Astaroth: (laughing softly) Calm down, Mouse Man. This is for your own good. Now, put on this bracelet. It contains a mini-teleporter that you can use to trade whatever you need for bad points.
Mr. Garrison: (muttering) This is ridiculous.
Astaroth: (seriously) Good luck, Mouse Man. Remember: your mission is to establish a base and assess the planet's potential for our conquest.
Lilith: (smiling) And don't forget: Mr. Hat is here to guide you. Trust him.
Mr. Garrison: (mumbling) Sure, trust the talking stuffed animal. Great plan.
Mr. Hat: (cheerfully) Here we go, buddy!
Mr. Garrison: (shouting) What the hell?! Why am I falling?!
Mr. Hat: (calmly) Calm down, Mr. Garrison. You can use your accumulated bad points to redeem a parachute. Just order it and I'll ask headquarters.
Mr. Garrison: (angrily) Give me a parachute, dammit!
Mr. Garrison would land safely in the desert, noticing a city in the distance. Understanding that he would have to go there. However, on his way, he would see some kind of alien dogs.
Mr. Garrison: (backing away) Oh, no, no, no! I don't have any weapons!
Mr. Hat: (excited) Don't worry, Mouse Man! Use your bad points to redeem a shotgun. Just ask me.
Mr. Garrison: (shouting) Give me a shotgun, quick!
A shotgun would appear from the sky.
Mr. Garrison: (shooting) What kind of place is this?! Damn corporation and its brilliant ideas!
Mr. Hat: (laughing) Good luck, Mouse Man! Remember to accumulate bad points to survive!
Mr. Garrison: Don't call me Mouse Man, call me Mr. Garrison.
[Mr. Garrison breathes heavily after shooting the alien dogs. Lands. The sand is littered with gunshot wounds, alien blood, and shiny shell casings. Just as he begins to complain, the sound of hooves echoes in the distance. A figure riding a white unicorn appears from the dunes.
Mr. Garrison: (wiping sweat) What is it now? Another monster? A mutant camel? I'm out of ammo for this!
Mr. Hat: (excited) Easy, man... I mean... Mr. Garrison. It appears to be a woman riding a... unicorn. Fascinating. Though statistically unlikely.
[The figure approaches and reveals itself to be a tall, beautiful woman with silvery-white hair. She wears shiny armor and carries a sword at her waist. Her bearing is imposing, though her expression is kind. She speaks a language Mr. Garrison doesn't understand.]
Woman: (in an unknown language) "Fralujié agden vánter?"
Mr. Garrison: (looking at her in puzzlement) What? What are you saying? I don't recognize that language from any country on Earth.
Mr. Hat: Let me handle this, Mr. Garrison. Analyzing the language...
[Mr. Hat makes a low hum as he processes the woman's language.]
Mr. Hat: (after a moment) Done! Transferring the grammar and pronunciation rules to the chip in your head.
Mr. Garrison: What does "weird" mean?! Don't touch my brain!
Woman: (now understandable) "And they're not carrying anything that looks like a weapon."
Mr. Hat: (quickly intervening) Greetings, noble lady! This man is a political exile from his country. He's come here seeking a new life. He's a ventriloquist, hence he can speak through me, his dummy.
Mr. Garrison: (in English) Ventriloquist? Really?
Mr. Hat: (in English) Go with the flow! It's the best way not to arouse suspicion.
Woman: What's that strange language?
Mr. Hat: Don't mind it. Sometimes he's shy, and I must speak it so he'll be more expressive in his native language.
Woman: (smiling) "I understand. I am Snow, captain of the royal knights of the Grace Kingdom. You have performed a great feat in defeating the Heggs of the desert. Your weapon is... strange, but effective. Please accompany me to the kingdom." Maybe we can help you start your new life."
Mr. Garrison: (shrugging) Well, I suppose I should thank you, Captain "Snow."
[The group enters the kingdom, a place surrounded by high walls but clearly in decay. The guards are old men, and the air is dry and heavy. As they walk, Mr. Garrison stops when he sees a rusty war tank in the middle of the plaza.]
Mr. Garrison: (pointing at the tank) What is this? Where did you get that tank?
Snow: (looking at the tank) "Tank? You mean that ancient machine?" It's been here for generations, but no one knows how it works."
Mr. Hat: A war tank! This requires investigation.
[The group continues to the castle, where Princess Cristoseles Tillis Grace greets them.
Princess Tillis: Good work, Snow. Welcome to Grace, traveler. My Captain Snow has informed me of your arrival and your feat in defeating the Desert Heggs. What is your purpose here?]
Mr. Hat: "Your Highness, this man is seeking an opportunity to rebuild his life. He is an experienced guerrilla fighter and a master ventriloquist. With his talent and my... charm, he could be a great addition to your kingdom."
Princess Tillis: (laughing) "What a peculiar doll. I like his attitude. Very well, we will accept your services, traveler. But you should know that our kingdom is in crisis. Since the Demon Lord's attack, his lands have become a desert. We need all the help we can get."
Mr. Garrison: (sighing) I understand.
[Snow guides Mr. Garrison through the city to a huge rusty machine with pipes extending into a dry well.]
Snow: "This is our rain-making machine. It broke down years ago, and no one has been able to fix it since."
Mr. Hat: (analyzing the machine) "Ah, ancient technology! Let me handle this."
[Mr. Garrison places his hand, with Mr. Hat, on the machinery. The lights flicker, and Mr. Hat begins to repair the machine, emitting whirring sounds and sparks.]
Snow: (surprised) "What are you doing? Are you... fixing it?"
Mr. Garrison: (sarcastic) Yes, I think so.
Snow: Yes...
[The machine starts up, emitting a deep sound that indicates it is starting to reboot, and requests a password.]
Machine voice: "Please register a new password to begin the operation."
Mr. Hat: (to Garrison) "Come on, choose something simple."
Snow, overjoyed, would run to let everyone know the machine was working, hoping to share the glory.
Mr. Garrison: Good... Password: "HatIsAGenius123."
Screen: "Password accepted. Operating system activated."
Snow: (admiringly) "It's a miracle. You did it, traveler."
Mr. Garrison: Although it was Mr. Hat who did it all.
Rain falls as the crowd celebrates. At the castle, Mr. Garrison, Snow, and Mr. Hat are led into the throne room, where the King of Grace, an older man with a bushy beard and a slightly crooked crown, watches curiously from his throne. Princess Tillis stands beside him, a mixture of pride and suspicion on her face.
King of Grace: (in a deep voice) "Snow, I must congratulate you on bringing this... peculiar individual into our kingdom. Under other circumstances, a captain who brings in a foreigner without first consulting would be under judgment."
[Snow tilts her head, slightly nervous.]
Snow: My King, I understand, but this man and his... puppet have accomplished the impossible. They have repaired our water-generating machine in a matter of minutes."
King of Grace: (looking at Mr. Garrison) "And that is why I am willing to forgive any irregularities in your arrival. Stranger, you have proven yourself useful to our kingdom in a time of great need." As a reward, I grant you a position in the militia as a commander. You may form your own squad, choosing from among our soldiers whomever you wish for your missions."
Mr. Garrison: (raising an eyebrow) My own squad? I didn't expect to become a military leader so quickly, but I'll accept.
Mr. Hat: (excited) "Perfect! A chance to demonstrate our leadership. This will be fun."
[The King nods.]
King of Grace: "Snow, well done. But remember, this is an exception. Don't let your judgment be clouded by personal emotions in the future."
Snow: (nodding) "Yes, Your Majesty."
[Later, Princess Tillis leads Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat to a ruined library within the castle. A huge map is spread out on a table. The princess points to the areas marked in red and blue.]
Princess Tillis: "Our land, the Land of Sand, Grace, is currently at war with the Demon Kingdom to the north. But something has recently emerged that will give us victory."
Mr. Garrison: (crossing his arms) Let me guess... Is your younger brother the typical 'chosen by destiny' who's going to save everyone with a magic sword and the power of friendship?"
Princess Tillis: (blinking in surprise) "How do you know?"
Mr. Garrison: (rolling his eyes) "How could I not know? This is the biggest cliché I've ever seen. A medieval world, The Chosen One, a kingdom in danger, a war against demons. I bet there are dragons here too.
Mr. Hat: "To be fair, the narrative has its charm. But... how do we fit into all this?"
Princess Tillis: (seriously) "My brother is our symbol of hope, but we also need individual strength on the battlefield. If you prove yourself useful, perhaps you'll play an important role in this war."
[Mr. Garrison arrives at the kingdom's military headquarters. A group of enthusiastic young female soldiers, along with weary veterans, are standing in formation. An officer hands Garrison a stack of resumes of available soldiers.]
Mr. Garrison: (flicking through the scrolls) This is like reviewing resumes for a job interview. And I can only choose up to 4.
[Mr. Hat scans the scrolls quickly.]
Mr. Hat: "Most of these candidates seem... unimpressive. Inexperienced young women or men too old to carry a sword. Oh, wait... This one."
[Mr. Hat points to a scroll
Mr. Garrison: (reading) "Alexandrite Galvenier. Title: God of War. Abilities: Spearman, sharp reflexes, poison resistance. Age... well, he's old now." But it looks interesting."
Mr. Garrison: "Well, I'm bored of looking. Alexandrite. Come here, please."
Alexandrite approaches. Seeing Mr. Hat, he smiles like an excited grandfather.
Alexandrite: (laughing) "Oh, what a nice doll you have there! Does it talk? Let me see it!"
Mr. Garrison: (annoyed) "Don't touch it, old man."
[Alexandrite ignores Garrison and picks up Mr. Hat, examining him as if he were a toy.]
Alexandrite: "Wow! I've never seen anything so strange. Do you move on your own?"
Mr. Hat: (laughing nervously) "Well, I'm more than just a doll, sir."
Alexandrite: "It talks! What fun sorcery!"
[Meanwhile, Alexandrite slides a hand into Garrison's pocket and takes a coin.]
Mr. Garrison: (noticing the missing coin) "Hey, give me that! You're the guy with the most missions completed, and you steal like a market thief.]
Alexandrite: (laughing) So what do you want from an old man like me?"
Mr. Hat: "We want you to be part of our squad. We need your experience."
Alexandrite: (smiling slyly) "My experience? I haven't fought seriously in years. But if you insist... I guess I can show those youngsters how it's done."
Mr. Garrison: (sighing) "Perfect. A crazy old man with a stick is the best soldier in this country. I think this old man alone makes up my unit."
The team would meet at the
Mr. Garrison: (sign)(laughing) "Okay, according to this, a supply caravan will arrive at the demon camp in three days. Our mission is simple: disrupt that supply. Without food or reinforcements, they'll have to retreat or surrender."
Mr. Hat: (thinking) "Although simple in theory, the other units have stupidly gone to fight the enemy head-on, and the camp has two of the Demon Lord's four Selectmen.
Mr. Garrison: (laughing) "Two of the four Selectmen? What are they?"
Alexandrite: (seriously) "The generals of his army, Heine of Flame and Gadalkand of Earth. Heine may be reasonable, but Gadalkand... that's a different story. Brutal, arrogant, and probably enjoys tearing our heads off with his bare hands."
Mr. Garrison: "Oh, fantastic. At least this guy's madness camouflages my questions, which in another context would be obvious."
Alexandrite: (thoughtful) "Heine, huh? I remember her. She's smart. If we play our cards right, we could exploit him. Gadalkand, on the other hand, will be a problem. He's all muscle and ego. A good blow to his pride could destabilize him."
Mr. Hat: "So what do you propose, old man?"
Alexandrite: A little controlled chaos. Sabotage the train while the other units engage Heine and Gadalkand and their troops at the camp.
Alexandrite: "Are you always this grumpy, or only when you're caught up in suicide missions?"
(The group gathers on a rocky slope overlooking the enemy camp and the supply wagon being moved by orcs. Alexandrite chews something strange, and Mr. Hat analyzes the train with his visor.)
Mr. Hat: (in a mechanical tone) "The supply train will arrive at the camp in 30 minutes. Ready to sabotage its arrival."
Mr. Garinson: We can use dynamite. Mr. Hat, ask me for dynamite.
Mr. Hat: I'd use the mini-teleporter to bring in dynamics.
Alexandrite: What kind of summoning is that? And what kind of explosives are those. They don't look like Mipyokopyoko's eggs.
Mr. Garinson: Mipyokopyoko? I don't want to know what that is.
Alexandrite: It's a small amphibian that jumps and explodes; its eggs hatch in moonlight.
Mr. Hat: This world is full of crazy things.
Alexandrite: (chuckles) "Young people these days... so impulsive. Did you know I once destroyed an enemy camp with just a stick and a shield?"
Mr. Hat: (calculating) "Probability of success for that strategy on this mission: 2.3%. Please don't try it."
Mr. Garinson: (exasperated) "All right, enough with this nonsense! Let's divert that train and deal with the demons before the old man finishes his war story."
Scene 2: Sabotage on the Train Tracks
Alexandrite digs a hole with surprising speed. Mr. Garinson watches from a distance with Mr. Hat. He then places the dynamite.
Mr. Hat: "Diversion ready. Requires detonator or manual intervention."
Mr. Garinson: "Why not you, Hat? I'm sure you can remotely activate the dynamite."
Mr. Hat: "Remember, I'm in your hand. If I hold something, you hold it."
Mr. Garinson places the detonator on Mr. Hat's ship.
After the train explodes, the orcs pushing it flee in fear. Heine of the Flame arrives on his gryphon, watching them curiously.
Heine: You in the strange armor, you seem to be the leader. What are you doing?"
Mr. Garinson: (sarcastic) "Just a normal day at work."
Heine: (raises an eyebrow) "Hm, interesting. Attacking the supply train, no trace of chivalry. You're human, but not like the others. There's something... odd about you. What's that in your hand?"
Mr. Hat: (quickly chimes in) "My master is an exiled ventriloquist. Pay no attention to my appearance."
Heine: (laughs softly) "A ventriloquist? How charming. Don't you want to join the Demon Lord's army? I can put you in charge of the humans, you can have any woman you want.
Mr. Garinson: Pass. Which side I'm on will be irrelevant in a while.
Heine would attack Garinson with his fire attacks.
Gadalkand would arrive.
Gadalkand: "Finish these insects right now! I don't have time for games."
Alexandrite: (smiles as she raises her cane) "Old trick number one: always underestimate the old man." I'll take care of this one, you take care of Heine.
(The battle begins. Alexandrite moves surprisingly fast, using her cane to knock Gadalkand down. Mr. Garinson uses Mr. Hat to bring a shotgun, which he fires, wounding Heine's gryphon.)
Heine: That doll, it smells like... a robot and that gun. Answer me. Who are you?
Gadalkand: My name is Mr. Garinson. And this is Mr. Hat.
Heine: (annoyed, but controlled) "I must admit, they have talent."
Gadalkand: (growling) "Enough talk! I'll squash these bugs myself!"
Alexandrite: (whispering to Mr. Garinson) "Let me handle it. Old trick number two: a big monster always falls harder."
(As Alexandrite confronts Gadalkand with his staff, Mr. Hat brings the teleporter and throws an explosive device at Heine, who barely dodges it.)
Mr. Garinson: "Hat, give me a bigger gun! This isn't working!"
Mr. Hat: "Warning: Insufficient bad spots for plasma cannon. Suggestion: improvise."
Mr. Garinson: "Of course, because that always works so well!"
(The fight descends into absolute chaos. Gadalkand, with his colossal size, hurls enormous chunks of rock at the group while roaring furiously. Heine, around them, launches fiery blasts. The group tries to maintain the advantage.)
Gadalkand: (roaring) "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!"
Alexandrite: (jumping nimbly to dodge an attack) "Insolence? Don't blame me for being old and cunning. Come here, big guy!"
Heine: (laughing mockingly) "It's a shame to waste such a good soldier."
Mr. Garinson: (standing behind a makeshift barricade) "Hat, do something! We're being cooked here."
Mr. Hat: "Scan complete: identifying weaknesses. Energy presence in core Crystal in Heine's chest. Suggestion: Attack the crystalline core in Heine's chest. Success rate: 48.2%."
Mr. Garinson: (irritated) "Great, and how are we supposed to get there without dying in the process?"
Alexandrite: "Leave it to me. Just distract him. And if I don't come back... don't touch my things!"
As Alexandrite runs straight toward Gadalkand, Garinson tries to keep Heine busy.
Heine: (grinning maliciously) "Are you interested in my necklace? You'll have to take it off my hands."
Mr. Garinson: (shouting) "Focus! Alexandrite can't do it all alone!"
(Meanwhile, Alexandrite dodges Gadalkand's devastating attacks with surprisingly agile movements for her age. At an opportune moment, she uses her staff to climb the monster's arm, approaching the glowing core on his chest.)
Alexandrite: (shouting) "Mr. Hat, throw something explosive now!"
Mr. Hat: "Confirmed. Launch in progress."
(Mr. Hat fires an explosive device at Heine's chest, blasting Heine's crystalline core. Heine, confused, sees its flames are low, and tries to rip it out as it begins to glow brightly.)
Gadalkand: (growling) "Should I take your stone, Heine?! IT CAN'T BE DONE!"
Alexandrite: (jumping back just in time) "Old trick number three: you always aim for the heart."
Old Alexandrite takes out a Mipyokopyoko egg and places it on Gadalkand's chest. He hits it, exploding and sending out a shockwave that knocks Gadalkand to the ground. The demon falls to the ground, defeated.
With Gadalkand out of the fight, Heine climbs onto his griffin and raises
Heine: (slowly clapping) "I admit I'm impressed. Not many manage to defeat Gadalkand and me together."
Mr. Garrinson: (pointing his sword at her) "Oh, please. If you can fight as well as you say, this will be interesting."
Heine: (smiling) "Next time."
Mr. Garinson: "Hat, give me options! We need something big to take her down!"
Mr. Hat: "Warning: Insufficient bad spots for high-level weaponry.
Alexandrite: (shouting) "That's it! Run away, coward. We'll leave Galalkan here for his medics to treat."
Mr. Garinson: (smiling) "What? You're going to leave him alive..."
Alexandrite: "Garinson, this demon will live in shame for having been defeated by me!" Besides, We destroyed the enemy supplies.
Heine: (panting) "This isn't... over."
Heine walks away from the place towards the demon camp.
Mr. Hat: (wiping the dust off his clothes) "It's over for you. Now, where's your jewel?"
Mr. Garinson: "That's it? We just took down a giant monster and a fire-breathing maniac in high heels and a swimsuit!"
Alexandrite: (smiling weakly) "That was... entertaining. Though maybe next time will be better."
(The group arrives at the castle at dusk, still somewhat covered in dust and minor wounds from the battle. In contrast to the other units arriving with low morale, the guards open the gates while the nearby villagers look on in admiration.
Snow: Please rest and enjoy our amenities. Your rooms have been prepared."
(Mr. Garinson and Mr. Hat and Snow are escorted to their room. As they walk through the hallways, Snow tries to ignore the constant dialogue between Mr. Garinson and his ventriloquist's dummy in an English language she doesn't understand. Finally, they come to a large carved wooden door that Snow opens with some effort.
Snow: (pointing to the room) "Here is your room, Mr. Garinson. I hope it is to your liking. Although, given your taste, I think you'll feel right at home."
Mr. Garinson: Thank you, good night. (confused) "What the...? Is it... A magic TV? How does it work without electricity?
Mr. Hat: (floating towards the TV) "Analyzing. Power source:" It's not electricity, but it's similar to that present in the Heine crystal.
Snow: (sarcastic) "Good night, Mr. Garinson."
(Snow quickly leaves, leaving Garinson and Mr. Hat alone in the room. Mr. Garinson turns on the TV, surprised to see it broadcasting some kind of magical soap opera.)
Mr. Garinson: (laughing) "Magical soap operas? This is getting weirder and weirder."
