148 Alice
788 Rokugo
178 Lilith
777 narrador
https://ttsmaker.com/es
We're in Lilith's laboratory. Lilith is showing Six her teleportation machine.
Lilith: Aren't you interested in alien planets? In this vast universe, there are countless stars around. Furthermore, there are numerous planets revolving around each star. In other words, there are countless worlds out there! An astronomical number. Counting them would be the stupidest thing to do—it's literally an unknown world. There might only be uncivilized primitives, or perhaps the planet's civilization is far more advanced than Earth's. It's even possible that your favorite world of swords and magic exists. Don't you want to go to that kind of world?!
Six: A world where I'll be loved for everything I do, or a world with a different aesthetic sense where I'm seen as a super handsome guy, maybe even a world where there would be no other man but me. In other words, that means you're going to send me to one of those worlds, right? Then let's get started right away! Whenever you say so, I'll be ready!
Lilith: Hmmm, I see. I'm glad you approve. Besides, you won't be the only one sent... Alice, come here.
A seemingly young girl approaches Lilith.
Six: Who is this brat? For the record, I hate children.
Alice: Are you referring to me? You're a subordinate combatant, don't overstep your bounds.
Six: Hah? Did you just say that? Damn brat! Even if you're a child, I won't forgive you! I'm a combatant for an evil organization. Don't underestimate the largest corporation known in the world, Kisaragi!
Alice: "If you're violent with me, the power core embedded within me will explode. Everything nearby will be annihilated. If that's okay with you, then go ahead." And my official designation isn't snotty. I'm a beautiful girl, made by Kisaragi, an android.
Six: An android... really? I mean that deadpan voice and her blank expression...
Lilith: This girl is Alice. She's made to be your support as a high-performance android. She's also one of my greatest masterpieces.
Six: Fine, I'll go. I'll go! In the end, it all comes down to this, right? It's because I was selected from among all the fighters; I'm a representative of Kisaragi!
Belial: Huh?... Oh, oh... correct! Okay! Of all the fighters, only you can accomplish this important mission!
Six: I have a question. How did you select the personnel? Belial? How did you choose who would go?
Belial: I'm counting on you, No. 6! Now, now... there's no time! Hurry and get in!
Astaroth: If you need weapons or other supplies, you can request them by sending a note through this mini-transmitter. If you send a note through this, we'll be able to know your coordinates through the chips embedded in you or Alice. Don't forget, you must send a report every week to know you're okay.
Six: It was fun. Being together with everyone in this organization. Well, I don't know what will happen. I can't promise I'll return safely, but I'm really looking forward to accomplishing my mission successfully. Fine, I'll do my best to return. And if I do return, raise my salary to that of a general. But before I go, give me a kiss, Astaroth.
Astaroth would kick Six.
Astaroth: Idiot. When you say things like that, you're supposed to promise you'll return safely. Since the three of us will always be waiting for you to return. If you return, you can be the fourth top general. It wouldn't be so bad to call us the Four Heavenly Kings.
Belial: Mhm. I really wanted to go... Good for you, No. 6~, since you get to go adventuring in an unknown world. I should have rigged the dice so they chose me.
Six: Dice? What, Belial was also a candidate for this?
Belial: Of course, isn't it obvious? On the dice: 1, 2 was Astaroth. 3, 4 was me. 5 was Lillith. 6 was you. Since Astaroth said she could only send the most trustworthy personnel, these were the possible candidates. She was the one who said rolling the dice was best to ensure fairness... but when the result was seen, she started saying that since it was dangerous, she would be the one.
Lilith: I'll give you your mission! You have two objectives. First, build a base in a safe area. Then set up the teleportation machine at that base. This will make round-trip travel between that world and Earth possible. This part will be handled primarily by Alice.
Second, investigate the natives' strength, resources, and terrain. This mission is at the peak of your combat work. Earth is currently experiencing a global food crisis due to population growth, soil pollution caused by wars, the decline in habitable land due to rising sea levels, etc. If the terrain of that world is habitable for humanity, all these problems can be solved at once.
Six: I have something I want to ask Lillith: What is the success rate of teleportation?
Portation? How many trials were there? And also, even if you can teleport us to the confirmed planet, can you teleport us exactly to the surface of that planet?
Lilith: So far, the teleportation success rate is 100%. I exercise my right to remain silent about the number of trials. And again, I exercise my right to remain silent about whether I can send you accurately.
Six: Sorry. In the end, it seems I won't be accepting this mission.
TELEPORTATION INITIATED
Alice and Six would be free-falling over a green meadow. Alice would give Six a parachute so she could land safely.
Once safe
Six: Damn Lilith, I thought I'd die. I thought the impact would scatter my port everywhere, you'd explode, and then I'd appear in the afterlife and be greeted by a beautiful goddess who would offer me reincarnation in a fantasy world to be the chosen one to defeat the demon king or something like that. Then I'd steal her so she'd fall in love with me and then return to Kisaragi and show it off. What I WANT MOST, Alice, I swear I'll get revenge on Lilith for sending me here. When we were falling, I thought I was going to die. And even more so, that they didn't train me and gave me this piece of junk that...
Alice: Calm down, Six. The parachute worked. The place seems quiet. The city we saw is in that direction.
Six: ...Good. Alice, immediately send our coordinates to our stupid superiors.
Alice: A secure base is an impossible dream at this point. After receiving the parts for the teleportation machine, we'll assemble them here. Then, we'll return immediately. I'm going to grope that silly girl's tits until she cries. Alice: It's impossible to assemble the parts in places like this because it's a super-precise machine. It's not possible unless it's in a clean room without a speck of dust. Also, since we're using that device, it'll take about a month for the space we're using for teleportation to stabilize. If you want to return, you'd better secure a base of operations first. Six: Wait how long?
Alice would inject a microchip vaccine to strengthen Six's immune system.
Alice: Let's start by going to the city we saw while landing.
At that moment, some giant frogs appeared.
Six would flee.
Six: Liars, they said this planet was like Earth; toads aren't that big on Earth. I hate them.
At that moment, the toad would grab Agent 6 with its tongue and swallow him and Alice.
Agent 6 would pull out his gun, trying to harm the toad.
Six: Damn it, why didn't they send me a robot that could fight? Instead of this useless, rusty piece of metal with the powers of a 12-year-old girl, the toad would swallow Six.
Alice: This toad had the strength to swallow an agent equipped with that heavy combat armor. Let's not underestimate the life forms on this planet.
Six: Don't just sit there analyzing things and help me.
Alice: I'm just a useless piece of rusty iron. I can't think, Agent 6.
Six: Just a little help, please. I take back what I said. You're not a piece of rusty iron. The inside of this toad stinks like a dead goat.
Alice: Well, I'll use your points to bring the circular chainsaw.
This way, Six would kill the toad by cutting open its stomach to get out.
Six: Damn, killing this giant toad wasn't that difficult.
Alice: Anyway, we killed a giant beast. The nearby residents will be alerted to the fact that there's someone capable of killing this gigantic creature. I suggest you stay back and play dumb. Let's go to the city. It's only a few kilometers away.
They would arrive at Axel City.
Alice: This city looks like a medieval city.
Six: No, it looks like a fantasy town like in the mangas I read, and if so, I think I know exactly where to go.
Six would be walking, when suddenly, the town's unfamiliar language would slowly begin to sound like contemporary Japanese to him.
Six: Hey Alice. I think I might have awakened some mysterious power since I arrived on this planet. I don't know why, but I'm starting to understand what these people are saying. The already powerful me is having an awakening. Nothing surprises me...
Alice: I don't really understand what you're saying, but it's probably because I'm uploading data of a similar language to the chip embedded in you during the reconstruction surgery.
Six: Uh, wait? Is it possible to do that with the chip inside me from the reconstruction surgery? I haven't heard anything about it. It gives me the creeps a little.
Alice: Now's not the time for trivial matters. Where do you go?
Six: To the largest building in the city. That's probably an adventurer's guild, where they can give you information and lend you money for your first quests.
That way, you'd both reach the adventurer's guild.
Six: That building, I'm sure it's an adventurer's guild. Prepare yourself, Alice. We don't know who's inside. You'll enter there.
Upon opening, you'll be served by an employee.
Employee: Hello. Welcome. If you're coming to eat, you can have a drink. If you need help, go directly to the counter.
Ruffian: Hey, new faces, I haven't seen you before. And tell me, why are you wearing such strange clothes?
Alice: Let me explain, sir. Back in our country, he was, in a way, a leader of a unit that worked endlessly every day to protect the people. However, one day in battle, his heart and mind were shattered by a terrible accident. Currently, I am his acting guardian. He's following me to heal his heart and mind, a journey to find himself again. Then, as soon as we left the forest near the city, we were attacked by those beasts and lost all our possessions. Furthermore, his tone is brusque, he lacks manners, and has no common sense. Sometimes he does funny things... but because of my head injury, he just lets it go with an open heart.
Ruffian: So you ran into a giant toad? Well, welcome to the gates of hell. You can check in at that ticket office.
Six: What was that shit? Why am I being treated like someone slightly crazy? Why did you suddenly set up a strange environment? What's your problem? Do you have something against me? Do you really want me to destroy you?
Alice: Everything was determined based on the various things I've heard from Lady Lillith. Listen carefully, No. 6. You're an idiot who will be found out sooner or later. However, with this adjustment, you'll be able to ask anything, even the ones that should be common sense, which everyone here should know. Even if you do the stupidest things, they won't suspect you. Instead, they'll look at you sympathetically like they would a pathetic person, and that would be that.
Alice: As for me... Since it's impossible to tell we're siblings because of your black hair... I, a beautiful young woman, was almost kidnapped by a passing boy-snatcher. Then you appeared and helped. While fighting that lolicon, let's just say your originally deficient brain suddenly experienced a serious error. Then, after feeling tremendous guilt since that time you helped me, the admirable and beautiful young woman decided to travel with you... How's that?
Six: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? How skilled was that boy-snatcher? And just like last time, in the middle of your story, I ended up screwed. Stop it! Also, why am I the guy with a screw loose in his head, while you're just an admirable and beautiful girl?
Six and Alice approached the reception desk.
Receptionist: Hello, how can I help you?
Six: Yes, look, beauty. I have experience killing dangerous creatures, and I have a feeling this is the right place to look for a job like that.
Receptionist: Oh, I see. You want to be an adventurer? The registration fee is $1,000.
Six: Registration fee? Wow, I don't think it's possible.
Alice proceeds to tell the same story about how they lost their things when they were attacked.
Receptionist: So you don't have any money?
Six: No. Alice: No.
Receptionist: Without money, I can't register you as an adventurer, but I can suggest a job in construction.
We skip to the bricklayer job interview.
Foreman: Is it okay if I ask you where you're from?
Six: It's Japan. Japan, Nippon, Nihon, call it what you want.
Foreman: Sorry, it's because Japan is a country I've never heard of...
Six: Well, that's probably because it's a small island in the Far East.
Foreman: Oh, I see... So, on your resume... May I ask about the place you previously worked at, 'The Kisaragi Secret Society'?
Six: It's a Secret Society, so it's a secret.
Foreman: I... I see... Ah-ahem, then... In your specialties... What is an Omnidirectional Spinning Bastard Sword? Six: It's my special move. Foreman: A special move? Six: Yes, it's my special move. With that technique, many heroes were buried in the ground. Foreman: What are these "heroes"? Six: Enemies. Foreman: It's like this... I apologize for only asking questions for a while. So, is it okay to proceed with the assumption that you can move bricks? Six: Yeah, don't remind me.
2 WEEKS LATER, at the Fremio stables.
Six: Damn, Alice, it's already been two weeks of being a bricklayer on that construction site and there isn't even a real difference between my salary from Kisaragi and my salary from my part-time job.
Alice: Statistically, people who don't finish high school end up in jobs like that.
Six: Don't joke around with me, Alice. With what I earn from that construction site, we only have enough to sleep in these stables, and you don't even help me there.
Alice: I already told you, 6. I gather information. I pretend to be a lost child. People respond more kindly to infants. Apparently, strangely dressed people with strange names and black hair. And eyes are too common in this city. In any other context, they would most likely have attacked you, believing you to be a strange being.
Six: At least the women here react the same as on Earth. I have enough bad points.
Alice: Don't waste your bad points on pornography.
Six: Shut your mouth, Alice, or the neighbors will get angry.
IN THE OTHER STABLE
Aqua: What's wrong? You forgot to go to the bathroom. It's dark. Should I come with you?
Six would bang on the wooden wall and shout: "FALL OVER."
Kazuma and Aqua: Sorry.
Six: See, Alice?
The next day, Six would see his fellow workers.
Six: This is useless. If this is the best they've got, I just need a quiet place to build the teleportation machine, and Kisaragi will own this world.
The blue-haired girl would suddenly build the wall in an instant imperceptible to the human eye, as if the cement were part of it.
Six: Anyway, they're paying today, and with this money I plan to register as an adventurer. Goodbye, bricklayer.
Six would meet up with Alice and head to the guild.
Alice: 6, research how the cards work in this world. Although they claim to be magic, they're essentially a technology for creating mutants, but more secure. Once you have your card, it will link to your being, record your stats, and a point system based on experience. In this case, instead of exchanging them for weapons, you'll exchange them for mutations. I won't go because I don't want to cause a glitch in their machine. I still can't figure out what technology to use to make instant mutations.
Six would enter the Guild.
Six: Okay, here are the 1,000 eris. Can I register as an adventurer now?
Receptionist: Sure, please place your hand here.
Six places his hand and the machine prints his card. The receptionist reads it.
Receptionist: Wow.
Six: What? Am I the chosen one?
Receptionist: No, but your stats are incredibly high for a novice. Except for intelligence, all your other stats are quite high. You can start in any class other than archmage because it would require intelligence.
Six: What are you trying to tell me?
Receptionist: You can be a sword master, paladin, warrior, or thief.
Six: Hmm, the same classes as in a Dungeons & Dragons game. Well, in those games, I was always the mage, even though you already told me I couldn't. Hmm. Fine. I'll be a paladin.
Receptionist: Fine, Mr. Yūsuke Shirai.
Six: Hmm, I haven't heard that name in years. Wait. How did you know my name? There must be a mistake. My name is Sentouin Rokugo.
Receptionist: Your card says something else. You can't lie to the machine.
Six would leave the Guild and tell Alice what happened.
Alice: It's an interesting technology, 6. It doesn't look like electricity, but they're capable of obtaining information that only the user knows.
Six: Well, anyway, Alice. If I already have my card and magic supposedly exists in this world, well, here we go. EXPLOSION.
Alice: What are you doing, 6?
Six: I just wanted to test a theory.
Alice: Didn't you pay attention? 6, magic doesn't exist. I don't know what technology they use to turn guild members into mutants with their cards, but the card is supposed to give them to you and you exchange them for experience points. Or, failing that, someone with the skill must show them to you so you can have them.
Six: Oh, hell, Alice, now I have to count my bad points and experience points. Anyway, I've accepted a quest. At least I can handle this. We're going to hunt giant toads.
Alice: Don't be shocked. According to my research, giant toads are considered the most harmless enemy in this world.
Six: Don't fuck with me, Alice.
After a few moments in the middle of a quest to hunt giant toads, Six falls behind some bushes, thinking they were giant toads, but it was just another group of adventurers.
(A group of rookie adventurers watches in amazement as Megumin unleashes an Explosion that devastates part of the forest, leaving a smoking crater. She, lying on the ground, can barely move a finger.)
Adventurer 1: Incredible destructive power!
Adventurer 2: Yeah... but... what else can you do?
Megumin: (proud, breathing heavily) Nothing more. Explosive magic is the pinnacle of all sorcery. I don't need to learn any more spells...
Adventurer 3: (awkward silence) ... Nothing else?
Megumin: (seriously) Nothing else!
(The group looks at each other, sighs, and starts to walk away.)
Adventurer 2: Sorry, kiddo, but... we can't be burdened with someone who becomes useless after just one spell.
Adventurer 1: Come on. Leave her alone, she's not our problem.
Megumin: (trying to get up) W-wait! The explosion is perfect, it's supreme, it's—!
(The group leaves, leaving her lying in the middle of the forest. Her eyes tremble with rage and embarrassment. At that moment, Six and Alice, who had been watching from the undergrowth, appear.)
Six: (laughing) Hahaha, what a pathetic scene! Those guys dumped her like a doll.
Broken ble.
Alice: (seriously) Agent 6, that girl seems unable to move after using her spell. According to my analysis, her body collapses after consuming all her energy at once.
Six: (carrying Megumin like a sack of potatoes): Poor brat.
Megumin: (glaring at him, barely raising her voice) Hey! I'm Megumin, the greatest Archmage who will ever exist... I'm not a sack of potatoes...
Six: (with an eyebrow raised) Megumin? Hahaha, what a ridiculous name! There are a lot of girls named "Megumi" in Japan, but you... "Megumin" sounds like a joke.
Megumin: (offended) Japan?! What the hell is that? And why are you laughing at my name? My name is glorious, worthy of a Crimson Mage!
Alice: (calmly pointing) Agent 6, I recommend changing the subject. It's going to explode again, but this time without magic.
[While walking toward Axel]
Alice: I've been investigating these so-called "crimson demons." According to the data, they're a tribe with abnormal levels of magical power. But their social patterns are eccentric, almost ridiculous.
Six: (looks at Megumin) So, in other words, you're from a family of weirdos.
Megumin: (growling) I'm not weird! Explosive magic is the noblest of all! My companions were just... ignorant people who didn't understand my true potential. I only know how to use explosive magic, and I have no intention of learning other types of magic.
Six: (in Japanese, looking at Alice) This girl is basically an outcast, isn't she? As if she had a magical disability...
Alice: (also in Japanese, serious) Exactly. I could be useful. If we convince her to join Kisaragi, we'd have a local spy with access to her tribe.
Six: (in Japanese, smiling) Perfect, she'll be our future informant. Although she thinks it's because of her "explosive talent."
Megumin: (confused) What are they saying in that strange language?
Six: (quickly) You're impressive. Your name and your magic are... super cool!
Megumin: (blushing, excited) I knew it! Finally, someone recognizes my splendor!
Six: So tell me, Brood, is that crater the maximum destruction you can achieve?
Megumin: Well, if I practice constantly, I'll eventually be able to make bigger explosions without getting tired.
Six: Even more power? What are your ambitions?
Megumin: I plan to kill the Demon King and obtain the title of Legend.
Six (Japanese): Alice, what you say is noble, but I sense a certain ambition in your words. In Kisaragi, we'll tune her to have more energy, maybe make her look sexy when she grows up, and we'll raise her according to our principles.
Six: (in a mocking but convincing tone) Listen, Megumin. Do you want to join our group?
Megumin: (eyes twinkling) Really? Did you... see my potential?
Alice: (in a neutral voice) Yes, definitely your... explosion... is unique.
Megumin: (with a raised fist) Then I swear I'll use my explosive magic on behalf of our group, until it razes the sky itself!
Six: (in Japanese, to Alice) Perfect, we've adopted a self-destructing nuclear weapon with legs. Its power reminds me of Belial's.
Alice: We'll be like family to you. If you want, you can call me "Mother."
Megumin: "Mother?" But you're younger than me.
Six: Well, if you're going to join our group, we should introduce ourselves properly. We're agents of the Kisaragi organization. Our members have the option of surgical enhancements to increase their efficiency.
Megumin: "Organization?" Enhancements? "What?" It's some kind of clan where they enhance their members.
Six: "You can look at it that way. You could enter a probationary period. We'll start tomorrow. Where are you living?"
Megumin: "Really?" Well, I'm at an inn, and I thought it was my last day because I was running out of money, but I think life has finally arrived.
Understood, I sleep in the stables. I am Fighter 6.
Alice: And I, a cute, specialized, high-performance android, Alice from Kisaragi.
Megumin: In that case, let me introduce myself properly. I've been waiting for the arrival of those like you. I am Megumin. Daughter of Hyoizaburoo, my father, and my mother is Yuiyui.
Six (In Japanese): This chuunibyo reminds me of Lilith.
Six and Alice would finish dropping Megumin off at the inn.
Megumin would enter the inn and brag to Yunyun that she had finally found a group that valued her explosive magic.
The next day, Six and Alice would pick up Megumin from the inn and go hunting for horned rodents.
Six would be taken by surprise and chased by them before he could grab his weapon.
Six: Shoot, ALICE, shoot.
Megumin would get ready to use explosion.
Six: Not yet, kid. I only use guns on small animals.
Alice would take out a rifle that she modified with Six's bad points and shoot at the different animals. Megumin: I've never seen magic like that. Alice: It's not magic, it's technology.
Six: Watch carefully, you might need it someday.
Megumin: Never. My love belongs to explosive magic.
The group would be heading to the guild to collect the quest.
Alice : If we split the reward, it's better. Don't worry, because you'll be in good hands.
Suddenly, a demon would appear flying and stand in front of them.
Host: Hey, humans.
Six: What's that?
Host: You see, the truth is, I was looking for a noble, black beast. (Looking at Alice) Hey, girl, I feel a strange presence in you. Are you some kind of Golem? (Shifting his gaze to Megumin) Those eyes...
Megumin was paralyzed, very scared, and couldn't move.
Host: It's true. Let me introduce myself. I'm Host, and I'm not a big goblin, but a superior demon. One day, I'll work for a certain brat who lives over there. Well, what did you think of my introduction? I know crimson demons introduce themselves that way.
Megumin would run away.
Six: Alice... Are we done for today? This one's definitely a mutant.
Alice: For reasons like that, he'll never be promoted.
Host: Mmm, that scent, you smell like my Lady Wolbach.
Megumin: Wolbach? Hey. What do you all have against my familiar? And why do you call him by such a strange name as Wolbach? If you want, I can get you another cat. Leave Chomosuke alone.
Host: Chomosuke? That's what that brat also called my Lady Wolbach.
Megumin: Who's that brat?
Host: It doesn't matter. Listen. If she gives me the cat, I promise I won't destroy the city and I'll leave.
Megumin: Why should I trust your word?
Host: Because demons always keep their agreements. It's a fundamental part of our being.
Six: (looking at Megumin) Hey, kid, do you have any relationship with this strange demon?
Megumin: (still nervous) Of course not! Crimson Demons aren't demons, we only have names! It has nothing to do with me!
Host: (raising an eyebrow) Crimson Demons... aren't demons? How confusing...
Megumin: (pointing at Host dramatically) Plus, it wants to take my familiar! That monster is looking for Chomosuke!
Six: (confused, in Japanese) Bah, I'd better get out the chainsaw.
(Six activates her bracelet, spends bad points, and suddenly her combat chainsaw appears. She turns it on with a mechanical roar, making Host and Megumin freeze in shock.)
Megumin: What kind of summoning is that?!
Host: (backing away) A demonic artifact? A forbidden relic?
Six: (laughing like crazy) This is technology, idiots! Release the limits!
Six's Chip: Are you sure you want to release the limits?
Six: Yes. Rokugo Chip: Remember, just one minute of releasing the limits requires a three-minute cooldown. Are you sure?
Six: Yes.
Megumin: Who are you talking to?
Rokugo Chip: Limits released.
(Six launches himself with force and dismembers Host in a bloody frenzy. Pieces of the demon fall to the ground, but surprisingly, Host remains alive, slowly regenerating.)
Host: (panting, with half his body regenerating) That... that power! Humans shouldn't...!
Alice: (quietly calculating) His body can regenerate. It's not a definitive victory.
(Limitless mode ends. Six falls to his knees, exhausted, and is unable to move.)
Six: Damn... three minutes on cooldown! (snorts) Well, let's take advantage of the opportunity to talk.
Six: (looking at Host) Listen, demon. If you don't want me to turn you into mush again, cooperate. What the hell do you want with the baby?
Host: (takes a deep breath) My lady Wolbach... The goddess of sloth and violence. Was kidnapped by the crimson demons. They split her into two entities to seal her. One of those parts... is a black feline.
Six: A cat?
Megumin: (sweating) N-no! I have nothing to do with her! I don't have her with me!
Alice: (approaches slowly, with a disturbing smile) How curious... (whispers in Host's ear) What if the crimson demons really do have the power to seal a goddess? Imagine. A tribe of madmen capable of trapping divinities... what if...
Host: (hesitates, uncomfortable) ... I'm not going to reveal any more.
Alice: (in a cold, almost mechanical voice) I can simulate a hundred forms of psychological torture in your head in less than a minute. None of them will leave any visible scars.
Host: (gulps, giving in) N-stop! I'll say whatever you want. Just don't do that to me!
*(snorts) Listen... the crimson demons are arrogant, but dangerous. They sealed my Lady Wolbach away, yes... and the half that wanders like a cat is proof of that. Don't make me face that brat who controls it again!
Six: (slowly stands up, regaining mobility) Then... let's try. We'll allow you to live. You won't attack the city, in exchange for giving us the information we need.
Host: (grunting) Tsk... deal. We demons always keep our promises.
Six: (in Japanese, to Alice) Hey... do you realize? These crimson demons might be able to imprison a goddess. That's... strategically invaluable!
Alice: (nods) Exactly. And we already have an "example" with us.
(Looks at Megumin, who smiles proudly, thinking they're talking about her explosive magic.)
Megumin: Yes! I knew it. You guys recognize my power.
Isn't that right?
Six: (in Japanese, amused) Ha, this kid is a chuunibyo diamond in the rough.
Alice: (nods) She'll be easy to manipulate.
Six: (looking at Megumin) Listen, get ready. We'll leave for Crimson Village tomorrow.
Megumin: (blinks, surprised) What!? My village?
Six: Yes. There are things we need to confirm.
Megumin: (crosses her arms, initially offended) Hmph! It's not like I want to take you to my village...
*(pauses, flashes a smile, chuunibyo on) But if I go with you and everyone sees I've joined such a powerful group... it'll be perfect to show them my greatness!
Six: (sarcastically in Japanese) Yeah, right, "greatness."
Alice: (neutral) And strategic manipulation.
Megumin: By the way, what's that weird weapon?
Six: My favorite weapon. Just a weapon with a very long name.
Megumin: When you were talking to Host, you stood very still. Couldn't you move? Maybe you consumed more mana than you're capable of? Six: Don't confuse things, kid. That was for cooldown.
The group would go to the guild to claim the reward for the rodents and from there to their habitats.
Upon entering the inn, Megumin would see a familiar figure and a pleasant visitor. Sister Cecily had come from Arcanretia, moved by a dream where her Cult figure, Aqua, had asked her for help and money. Cecily suspected she was referring to Megumin and left Chommosuke with her as well.
Megumin would go to rub it in Yunyun's face that she has a group. Yunyun announces that she is going to travel to other cities. Megumin takes this as a victory. But before leaving, Megumin would say that she hadn't released her explosive magic that day. She's about to release it outside, and asks if Yunyun could help her get back.
The next morning, Six would approach the Guild and see Alice serving Megumin something suspicious.
Six: What are you doing, Alice? Alice: I have a hypothesis. Megumin's powers seem to be similar to Belial's, but only with enough energy for a single impact. I think the Nitro would increase her daily explosion capacity. Megumin: So, that's going to help me make more explosions per day? Alice: That's the idea. Megumin: Then I accept. Cheers.
Megumin would be about to drink the Nitro when Six takes it from her.
Six: Nah nah nahm, you're still a kid, and I've seen what this does to my boss Belial the day after consuming it.
Six: This could, at best, make your heart explode... literally, so no.
Megumin: Hey, I'm not a kid. Give me, give me, give me...
Six: Calm down, kid. I promise I'll buy you the first one when you're old enough.
Megumin: I'm not a kid.
The team would follow Megumin to the caravan exit.
Six: Okay, Kid. Now, where are we going?
Megumin: Here we must hire a caravan that passes through Arcanretia and from there go up to the village.
Six: You've come a long way, foreign kid.
This way, the group would begin their journey to Arcanretia.
On the way there, on the first night, taking advantage of the fact that everyone was asleep, Alice took the opportunity to request reports on other world-conquering missions.
Alice: Oh, 6. I was reading a report from Kisaragi; it seems something ridiculous happened. Apparently, the plan to invade planets, other than this one, will be delayed. You should also take a look. Most logs show planets with poor conditions for supporting life, but this one caught a lot of attention.
Alice would play the video on her small player, listening to the recording with headphones.
START RECORDING
22: Excel Report! The teleportation was an absolute success! Excel, the magnificent combat agent 21, is alive and in free fall toward the glorious new world!
[Looks to the side and sees another combat agent falling; she's already fainted... but she does have a parachute.]
Excel: Cosmic injustice! Excel didn't receive a parachute; Excel demands a level playing field!
The video cut out and skipped to the end of the recording.
Excel: Excel confirms that the teleportation is a complete success. Excel is now descending with military precision, heading for the glorious destination that His Excellency Il Palazzo has ordained for her!
[Six's comment: Il Palazzo, the one from the Colombia branch?]
Excel: Excel visually confirms a hostile and mysterious terrain! Excel swears she will conquer that castle in the name of Il Palazzo even if Excel dies a hundred times in the process!
Alice plays the following report.
Excel: Excel continues the official report! Excel and Hyatt have successfully completed their insertion into the new world! Excel marches bravely through the desert, certain that His Excellency Lord Il Palazzo is watching!
Hyatt: (walking behind, staggering) ...I hope... there's water... before I die again...
Alice skips the report.
Excel: Excel's report! Excel confirms the air is completely breathable, though Excel prefers the smoggy urban breeze of Earth! Excel also confirms that diviOnly a city in the middle of the desert, a few hours from here! Excel will begin by investigating the surrounding area, because Excel is professional, meticulous, and... [A strange grunt interrupts the recording]
Excel: Report from Excel! Excel is about to enter the native civilization! Excel declares exclusively: it will be a piece of cake to conquer this place in the name of His Excellency Il Palazzo! EXCEL guarantees it 120%!
Cuts report
Excel: Report from Excel! Excel officially declares that the mission has gone awry, Excel and Hyatt have been captured by hostile natives! Excel adds that the local language is impossible to understand, even with universal signs of friendship like "Excel is here to conquer you"!
Next report
Excel: (turning on camera) Report from Excel! Excel has recovered his invaluable companion Hyatt from the official dump! Excel takes this moment to wonder how her emergency food, which Excel lovingly calls "Menchi," is going! Or what Pedro is doing with the fact that he got his son and his sexy wife back.
Next report
Excel: Excel reports that Excel and Hyatt will be moving discreetly outside the wall to remain unnoticed, like expert infiltration agents!
Hyatt: (dragging her feet) ...Officer Excel, I think... discretion is ruined...
Next report
Hyatt: (weakly) Miss Excel... if we end up surrounded by zombies... would it be inappropriate to ask you to let me faint now?
Excel: No fainting allowed! That's what extras do first, and then they die! We're the stars!
[Excel zooms in on the witch: the young, red-haired priestess staggers barefoot, her yellow eyes seemingly staring into space. The zombies obey her every slight movement.]
Excel: (gulping) Uuuh... okay, this doesn't feel like a fun movie anymore. This feels like some weird Resident Evil DLC!
Hyatt: (quietly) ...Why... do you seem to be... practicing choreography?
[The zombies form lines, raising their arms in sync. The witch murmurs sleepily.]
Grimm: ...prepare the bodies... the festival is approaching.
[Six's comment: Aaaahhh, Zombies. Next Alice, Next...]
Alice changes chapter.
—This is Agent Excel on a reconnaissance mission! Reporting that in the local war, they sent a woman in a wheelchair, and oh yeah, that woman was able to curse her opponent. She immobilized a giant demon!
Hyatt (behind, raising his hand):
"I confirm... Miss Excel isn't exaggerating. I saw it too... some very surreal things happened in that war..."
Excel (with a triumphant smile):
"And I, Excel, recorded it all for the glory of Kisaragi! No one can tell me I'm not the greatest spy in the universe!"
[Six's comment: If there weren't any recordings, I'd think those two were going crazy in that world.]
Next report
Excel (recording): "Night report number 237: We encountered a wheelchair-bound zombie priestess with a spinster complex. Her curse rebounded, confirming that Excel's justice is universal. We continued to accumulate bad points to assemble the teleportation device. Hyatt collapsed three times. End of report."
Next report
Note: Local fauna includes exploding frogs and Mipyokopyoko toadlets, likely designed by some explorer-hating entity... but useful for military purposes.
Next report
Excel's secret report: I'm not lying... when I say a twelve-year-old girl defeated a colossal serpent with nothing more than a stone axe. And that it's... apparently... just part of a school initiation ritual.
The report goes straight to the point.
Excel Field Report: Confirmed. The indigenous natives possess immense strength, instinctive combat skills, and a social system based on rituals involving the murder of gigantic creatures with primitive tools. The planet's mutants display power levels comparable to the executives of Kisaragi.
Next Report
Excel Report: The presence of a local individual with paternal delusions, possibly senile, is detected, walking straight to certain death at the hands of bees the size of tanks. Recommendation: DO NOT FOLLOW. Secondary recommendation: Lament his death with poetry.
The video would continue with another abrupt cut.
NEW REPORT: The old man did not die. The old man not only survived, but stole honey from the bees of hell and came out unscathed! USE THE STINGER LIKE A TOOTHPICK! EXCEL IS NOT EXAGGERATING! I REITERATE: I'M NOT EXAGGERATING!
Next report
"Field report number 327! ATTENTION, Kisaragi Corporation! This planet is totally screwed. Elders are coming in and out of the forest like they're going to buy bread. What kind of world is this where the elderly are more deadly than mutants?"
Next report
"THIS CAN'T BE! Ju"I'm not going crazy, I'll report it as is! THE TREES HAVE BUILT-IN FIRE-PROTECTION SYSTEMS!"
Next report
Excel: (writing furiously in her notebook) "Second colonization attempt: utter failure. Giant animals exploding, dancing tribes with orbital support, base destroyed in less than a minute. Excel officially declares that she has NOT gone crazy. THIS REALLY HAPPENED!
Final Report
Final report: That planet is the worst. Population: hostile. Climate: hostile. Animals: hostile. Gods: even more hostile. Slavery and cannibalism. I recommend... NEVER sending any more agents. Not even one of the executives.
END RECORDINGS
Six: Damn, Alice, I feel lucky to have been teleported here.
Alice: Well, Agents 21 and 22 aren't exactly the smartest.
Six would see the sun rise.
Six: What? It's already daylight. Oh no.
What awaits Six and Alice in this wonderful world? Write it in the comments.
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