Dear
everyone over there
At the end
of a hard day’s work, there’s no greater luxury than soaking in a warm hot
bath.
“Aahhhhhh..”
“Guhhhhhh..!!”
As I let
out a sigh soaking in the bath, the man who was hesitating beside me because
the water
was too hot quickly went up to his shoulders, letting out a strained groan.
The guy
groaning like a tired old man is none other than Faustress of the wind, a
former
elite four
of the demon lord’s army.
This guy is
the very reason I even ended up on this world.
“Well done
in today’s battle, hero. It was quite satisfying to see the leader of
whatever-their-name-was
squad break down in tears after you argued with him. Though getting
your ass
handed to you afterwards wasn’t as satisfying.”
“Shut up
Faustress. You got beat up alongside me, remember? Besides, I’m a hero. I’d
never lose
in a battle when it comes to justice. That said, if Lady Belial hadn’t shown
up, we
might’ve
been done for.”
And now,
he’s my colleague.
“Say, Hero,
Lady Belial really is strong, huh? No, everyone in this world is. Their heroes
are strong,
our comrades are strong, and when it comes to the executives and mutants...
they’re
incomprehensible...”
Faustress
muttered quietly as he cupped some bath water and washed his face.
“Yeah, I’ve
been called a hero and all that, but coming here has really shown me just
how big the
world really is. When I fought that guy Galdalkand, I thought getting hit by
his iron
club would
crush me, but just a punch from a hero hurt even more than that.”
“Seriously,
what the hell was that hero even about? He claimed to be a champion of
justice,
yet the moment he saw me, he attacked without so much as a word. Even thugs in
the
slums would
start with some threats.”
With those
words, Faustress let out a heavy sigh.
“I’m no
better in that regard. When I first saw you, I mistook you for a beast and
attacked
straight
away as well.”“Eh?! To think that I, a former elite four of the demon lord’s
arm and a noble, would be
mistaken
for a wild beast!”
Faustress
protested angrily, but considering his shaministic-looking feather adornments
and the
markings on his face, his look was just as outlandish as the Parrot Man
creature we
came
across.
“If you
don’t want to be treated like a beast, at least take off those feathers when
you’re
bathing. I
suppose the tattoos on your face are unavoidable, but I mean... you scared
other
customers
when you went to the convenience store last night.”
In this
world, some stores are so lucrative that they stay open throughout the night.
We’ve been
surprised every day since coming to this world, but that was the first time we
surprised
the locals.
“What
tattoos are you talking about? For the record, these aren’t adornments either.
I
was born
with both the feathers and markings on my face.”
“Huh?”
Just as I
was wondering how to respond to that, loud, heavy footsteps approached
before the
door to the bath swung open.
“How long
have you two been soaking? That’s way too long for men, get out now!”
““Eeeeeek!””
Caught off
guard by Belial’s sudden intrusion, we let out screams like little girls.
In my
battle with Faustress of the wind, a member of the demon lord’s elite four, I
was hit
with a
random teleport spell, separating me from my party and sending me to this
world.
Teleportation
is a powerful magic that uses the forces of the wind, but it’s not a selective
spell that
only teleports your enemies.
Because the
magic brings along anyone it comes into contact with, it’s primarily used as
a last
resort where one gambles their life to teleport their foe into a dangerous
location such as
the bottom
of the sea or a volcano.
And he had
the nerve to use that move in his showdown with me.Though it’s a suicide move
that can drag any powerful foe along, Faustress says he
didn’t try
to use the ancient teleport to come here, but actually aimed directly at the
location of
Heine of
the Flame.
I’m not
sure how the destination was chosen, but since we appeared before Lady Belial,
perhaps the
great wind spirit mistook her for Heine due to her ability to wield the power
of
flames?
No, no, the
great wind spirit is practically a god, surely it wouldn’t make a mistake like
that.
...Brushing
that ridiculous idea aside, we stepped out of the bath and were greeted with
paradise.
Because
water was scarce in our world, this house’s big bath alone was enough to be
considered
paradise...
“Oh, Hero,
it’s simply sublime! After toiling in the scorching heat, you get to relax in
the
baths and
drink an ice cold beer in a cool room! Even the Demon Lord has never
experienced
pleasures
such as this!”
“Speaking
of which, even my father, the king, never experienced a feeling like this! Ms.
Kiku, bring
me another serving of fried chicken! This would definitely be a hit at the
royal palace.
When I get
home, I'm hiring Ms. Kiku as my personal che- ow!”
As I chug
down a cold beer, I receive a noogie from Lady Belial for trying to poach Ms.
Kiku, who
apparently is off limits.
This is the
living room of Lady Belial’s mansion, the very person who took us in and
became our
benefactor and boss. Apparently a ‘living room’ is something like a sort of
dining
area in a
Japanese styled house.
Dressed in
pajamas known as ‘yukatas,’ we were currently being served by an elderly
lady named
Ms. Kiku, and we were savouring a feeling of happiness doing so.
“...Hey,
are you guys really foreigners? You’ve blended in way too easily into our
culture,
don’t you
think? You even handle smart devices way better than I do. Also, don’t scream
just
because you
got seen naked, it makes me look like some sort of pervert.”
Lady
Belial, also in a yukata, gave us a suspicious look. If you ask me, barging in
on
people in a
bath is totally perverted behavior.“Good work today Mr. Hero and Mr. Faustress.
I’ll bring some karaage and some
tonkatsu
later, so eat up and rest well.”
“Ms. Kiku,
I’ll have another helping! Also, I’m running low on beer, so bring me more
please!”
“Ah, m-me
too! Hey, Faustress, you’re drinking too fast! Didn’t Lady Belial limit us to 3
beers a
day?”
Smiling
warmly at us, Ms. Kiku left the room to get us our refills.
Ms. Kiku is
the head maid that manages this whole house. According to her, she’s not a
maid but a
housekeeper, though I don’t really understand the difference.
Currently,
me and Faustress both have our own little houses in the garden of this
mansion
where we live and sleep.
“...Even
though you guys are living in makeshift huts and working to the bone for
minimum
wages, you sure do look happy every day. The other agents–especially No. 6–
complained
all the time about their places.”
Lady Belial
said this with a confused look on her face, but the homes we now live in are
always cool
thanks to a magical device known as an air conditioner, we have unlimited water
and baths,
and even delicious food and alcohol are always served to us.
It’s been
about 2 months since we first came here, and compared to the harsh world we
came from,
this place truly is a paradise.
2
The next
day, after finishing work and limping back to the office, I was stopped by a
girl
passing by.
“Hey, you
two. Why don’t you go and grab some Gorigori-kun from the convenience
store for
me, will you?”
......................................“U-um,
Lady Lilith, we were just in a fierce battle with a hero a little while ago, so
can we
go to the
infirmary first? My leg got hurt pretty bad...”
“No way,
are you stupid? Instead of worrying about your pathetic injuries, a low level
agent like
yourself should be prioritizing yourself with the cooling of my brain–the one
and only
genius
brain in the world.”
...What the
hell is her deal?
I’m
technically a hero along with royalty. If this were my country, she’d be
getting a
dishonorable
execution for this kind of disrespect.
Glancing
over, Faustress, bruised and battered all over, wears a look of disbelief.
“S-say,
Faustress, could I ask you to handle this?”
“Can’t be
helped. You just go to the infirmary and get that thing done. I’m off now...”
That
‘thing’ Faustress mentioned is an incredibly powerful magic item that heals the
body
of all
wounds when injected into it.
The medical
team who did it said they were simply injecting ‘nanomachines,’ so I
suppose
nanomachines are what they call magic in this world. I limped towards the
infirmary,
grateful
for Faustress who was running the errand for me.
“Alright
then, when you get free from there, go on and take this to Astaroth. If you say
it's
from me,
she’ll probably get mad, so say it’s from you combat agents. She’s soft on
newbies, so
try your
best to persuade her to approve it. There’s some benefits for you guys in here,
so try
your best.”
I know I
can’t win, but part of me just wants to smack her. No, no–I’m a hero–I can’t
lay
my hands
upon a woman, especially a child like her.
As I
watched Lilith walking away humming to herself, I realized that this place
isn’t a walk
in the part
either.
The request
handed to Lady Astaroth was instantly covered in ice and shattered.
“Are you
mocking me?”
“N-n-n-no,
that’s not it! Lady Lilith just told me to deliver this request to you!”As
Astaroth’s unbelievably cold voice filled the room and the temperature began to
quickly
decline, I confessed.
I now get
what my seniors meant when they told me to never anger her if I wanted to
work at
Kisaragi.
I looked
towards Astaroth, who was letting out a long, weary sigh after hearing my
explanation.
“By the
way, can I ask what kind of request was on that form?”
Astaroth
lowered her gaze to the shattered pieces of ice that used to be the request
form, and,
“‘We want
more of the latest gaming consoles in the combatant agents' recreational
rooms.
Also, since Lady Lilith works hard every day, it’s unfair if only use agents
get preferential
treatment,
so we think she should get the newest games, a credit card with unlimited use,
daily
deliveries
of fancy sweets after meals, and...’”
“That’s
enough, I don’t want to hear any more. Can I please go punch her?”
I couldn’t
help but blurt out my true feelings at such ridiculous demands, but at this
point,
I didn’t
care about keeping up my appearances as a hero. What made it even more
irritating
was that
half-hearted inclusion of a request from us. It feels so underhanded.
“Kisaragi
is an evil, merit based organization. If you don’t like someone, even if it’s
your
boss...
Well, this is just me talking, but feel free to ambush that brat right after
lunch whenever
you find
the time... Oh, and she always takes a nap in her room after she eats.”
“Thank you
Lady Astaroth, I’ll try to strike sometime then.”
I quickly
thanked my understanding boss for her words. As I turned to leave, I heard a
voice call
out from behind me.
“I heard
from Belial that there’s something you’d really like as a reward for working
hard
here. I
don’t know what it is, but please do take care of your body. Kisaragi may be an
evil
organization,
but we do properly reward our agents, so... Go on, get to the infirmary.”
When I
turned around at the sound of the gentle, caring voice, a voice so completely
different
from the coldness earlier, there stood Astaroth, smiling.
On my way
to the infirmary, I ran into Faustress, who had completed his errand.“O brave
hero, perfect timing. Do you know where Lady Lilith’s room is? I bought the
Gorigori-kun
she asked for, but I forgot to ask where she lived.”
“Oh yeah,
Lady Lilith’s room is this way. Lady Astaroth was kind enough to tell me where
she lives.
haah...”
Forgetting
all about the pain in my leg, I let out a sigh and guided Faustress to Lilith’s
room.
“Why the
sigh? Did Lady Lilith do something awful to you?”
“Lady
Lilith ordered me to deliver a request form to Lord Astaroth, but that’s not
why I’m
sighing.
This sigh... is the kind that comes from love...”
Faustress
was giving me a look like, “What the hell is this guy talking about?”—but hey,
it’s not
like I can help it. I’ve fallen for her, and that’s that. I mean, I just can’t
help it. An
executive
that cold and ruthless suddenly starts smiling and being nice like that? Of
course I’m
going to
fall for her.
There’s
beautiful women back home in my country, sure, but a lot of them are on the
weird side.
So falling in love for the first time, and it’s with an evil executive from
another world?
Even as a
hero, I can only think of that as fate.
Eventually,
when we arrived at Lilith’s room, Faustress wore a concerned look on his
face.
“Just to
make sure, but you are planning to go back to your original world eventually,
right? I
don’t know who you have fallen in love for, but doing so is only going to make
it harder
later on.”
“Thanks for
the warning. The person I’ve fallen for is one of Kisaragi’s top executives,
but even
still, these feelings...”
Just as I
was going to finish my sentence, the door in front of us swung open.
“Hey,
you’re being really noisy right in front of my room. Also, I heard you fell for
one of
Kisaragi’s
top executives? Are you talking about me? Sorry, but you guys aren’t really my
type.”
“I’m really
going to punch you Lady Lilith, I’m not some lolicon... Ow ow ouch! Quit it,
peasant!
Who do you think I– Ow, stop, seriously! I’m sorry!”
I couldn’t
help myself from firing back at her, before quickly being squeezed by her
tentacles.Seeing
this, Faustress quickly tried to show her the bag he was holding to try and
help
me out.
“Lady
Lilith, please take it easy! Look, here’s the Gorigori-kun you requested! Come
on,
hurry up
and eat it before it melts!”
Lilith
quickly released me from her grip and grabbed the bag before her, checking
inside.
“This is
soda flavored! When I say Gorigori-kun, it has to have a Napolitan flavor!
Useless!
Just forget it and go home!”
Lilith
started saying something unreasonable, yet still held onto the bag tightly.
“U-um, Lady
Lilith, about the cost of the Gorigori-kun...”
Lilith
shooed me away with her hand before aiming her tentacles at Faustress.
“I told you
to go home, so get to it before I get even angrier. I’ll give you to the count
of 5,
and once
those 5 seconds are up...”
“My
apologies!!”
Before she
could even start the countdown, Faustress quickly apologized before quickly
shutting
the door.
Our damn
boss is so awful, it really makes our blood boil.
“...No
wonder Lady Lilith comes last in the executive popularity polls. The Demon
Lord’s
army had
some nasty villains, but none as awful as her.”
“Hey,
Faustress, I actually wanted to talk with you about something. So, after Lady
Lilith
finishes
her lunch...”
Just as I
was about to invite him on my plan to get back at Lilith, the door just shut
opened up
again.
“Oh, I
almost forgot to mention. I don’t know who you fell for, but Astaroth already
has a
crush on
someone, and Belial is tricky for other reasons. Tough luck!” Lilith said,
happily
munching on
her soda-flavored Gorigori-kun.
...Having
my heart broken the day of my first love, I vowed to make sure I’d get back at
her.The day
after I made up my mind to get back at Lilith.
When I told
Faustress about the plan and the fact that I got permission from Astaroth, he
begged me
to let him join me.
The reason
me and Faustress are even able to work together so well is because of how
rich this
land is. The area we’re in, known as the ‘Japan Branch’ of the Kisaragi
organization,
has
infinite water. And this area gets tons of water, even compared to other places
in the world.
On top of
that, Kisaragi has huge dams everywhere, and there’s rich underground water
reserves
too. Lady Belial even has her own personal fountain and pond, there’s that much
to
spare.
What really
blew us away however was this specific magic tool Kisaragi is very proud of.
When we
realized just how wonderful this magic device was, we lost any reason to keep
fighting.
The only reason the Demon lord’s army even started the conflict was because a
magical
beast had turned all their land into desert and they were just going to the
closest land
they could
find.
And once I
achieved some results here in Kisaragi, I am allowed that magic tool. With it
alone, even
the war back in my world would...
“Rejoice
Hero, even though this world is lacking a bit in magic, I’ve been able to save
some up day
by day. At this rate, you should be able to return home in about a week.”
Faustress,
in unusually high spirits, said this to me as I was getting ready for work.
The magic
concentrations within his world are extremely low. It’s the main reason why
someone as
skilled as Faustress can’t do much here. Well, I was the one who asked them to
prioritize
saving up his magic to teleport back home, so I’ve taken up leading our
missions.
“That’s
great news! Once we get that magical tool, everything can be settled
peacefully!
Then, as
soon as the teleport is ready, we’ll attack Lady Lilith and escape using the
teleport
before she
can fight back. If this works, not only will we solve the water problem and end
the
way with
the Demon lord’s army, but we can also get back on that crappy boss of ours!”
“Ah, I
couldn’t think of a better outcome... Yesterday, after we finished work, she
made
me grind in
this game endlessly for materials she could use, saying it was part of the job!
Damn
that lousy
boss! I’ll make sure she understands the terrors of the Demon Lord’s army!”
Faustress
is all fired up, but I’m worried he might overdo it and not have enough magic
for the
teleport.“Faustress, just so you understand, you cannot use magic, ok? You’re
here only to
support.
Even if there’s a chance of glory in front of you or I’m about to be taken down
by a hero
or someone,
you must never use your magic.”
Yeah, we’ve
got to do this at all costs. Even if what’s at stake is our lives, as heroes
and
royalty, if
it’s to save the world..!
“You can
rest assured, I won’t use any magic, even if you’re about to die.”
...To be
honest, I’d want him to use some magic if things got that dangerous...
Just then,
Lady Belial came over to us as we were getting ready. Seeing how fired up we
seemed, she
said, “Looks like you’re raring to go. I’m sure you know, but your task today
is to
assist
Lilith in searching for the heroes. Me and the mutants got some info on their
secret base,
so we’re
going to go raid it. Once you find any clue about where the heroes could be,
leave Lilith
behind and
get out of there.”
Kisaragi
has almost taken over the whole world, but the heroes’ resistance is still
pretty
strong.
They’ve got secret bases everywhere and keep running guerrilla operations.
As a
countermeasure, Kisaragi uses many operatives to track down the heroes and
their
trails, and
as soon as they find a secret base, Lady Belial and the mutants go and launch a
fierce
assault... but...
“What are
you saying Lady Belial! I’m Faustress, a former elite four of the Demon Lord’s
army! I
can't just run away without even fighting the Hero- ouch!”
“How many
times do I have to tell you! You’re not Faustress! You’re Combat Agent F No.
19! Just
learn your name already!”
Faustress
tried talking back, but got punched in the gut and keeled over.
“This is
just my gut feeling, but things haven’t been going too great recently. We’ve
been
getting
pushed around by these heroes and I feel like a trap is coming. You two are
especially
weak, so if
you see one, turn tail and get out of there, okay?”
“Sure, we
might look weak compared to you, but Faustress and I both have our own
secret
trump cards that we can’t use in training because they’re too dangerous. So...”
I gave lord
Belial a fearless smile.
“If we
can’t run away, it’s ok for us to take them down, right?”
“You idiot,
that’s what they call a death flag!”...I took a hard punch in the gut from
Belial and also keeled over.
3
After
finishing our preparations, we were currency exploring the city while listening
to
Lady
Lilith’s lecture.
“This is
the first time I’m working on a mission with you guys isn’t it? Today, I, the
brains
of the
organization, will show you how to properly take down a hero. Be sure to take
notes.”
““Yes
Ma’am!””
Our mission
is to guard Lilith, or rather, be her entourage.
In this
world, we were taught that it’s common for executives and mutants to be
followed
by their
own personal entourages. Different worlds, different customs I guess, so we
better take
her words
seriously.
“Operation
one, when you meet a hero, act extremely arrogant. Set up what you call a
‘low-ranker
flag.’ That’ll make them sigh and think ‘here we go again’ before throwing a
light
punch your
way to teach you a lesson. That’s when you strike and hit them for real.”
““...Yes
Ma’am!””
Lilith
started saying something complicated, but I get what she means by ‘low-ranker
flag.’ It’s
what my fellow combat agents always do right before a fight.
“Operation
two, when you meet a hero, give them a tired smile and say ‘You’re a hero,
right?
Please... Put me out of my misery...’ You trick them by making them think
you’re just a
poor soul
working for us because your family is being held hostage. Make it sound like
you’re
sick of
doing bad things and you want them to finish you off. A champion of justice
wouldn’t be
able to
strike someone saying that. And just when they let their guard down, Bam! You
strike.”
““...seriously?””
Gotta hand
it to her, using people's consciousness against them is pretty damn ruthless.
I always
figured she was rotten to the core, but seriously, what kind of life do you
have to live to
come up
with something like that?“Anyway, today’s strategy is... Well, actually, how do
you think I look today? A bit
different
from usual, right?”
Lilith gave
us a teasing look, fluttering her eyelashes with her hand on her cheek.
“Uh... oh,
you got a haircut. It looks good on you.”
“Your
makeup is more polished than usual today. Looks good.”
“I didn’t
get a haircut, and I don’t wear makeup, my face is all natural! Keep talking
crap
and I’ll
knock you out. I’m talking about my clothes! They’re different from usual,
aren't they?”
Now that
you mention it, Lilith wasn’t wearing her lab coat today, and seemed dressed
as a normal
civilian.
“Today, I’m
all dressed up as a cute girl. If someone saw us, they’d probably think you
guys are
Kisaragi agents trying to kidnap a cute little girl.”
...You
really think that?
“Then you
say to the heroes, ‘Don’t move a muscle! Otherwise this little girl here is
gonna get
hurt!’ Then you just thrash the helpless heroes who can’t move. And then at the
end,
I reveal
myself and say ‘Thought I was a hostage? Well too bad, it’s Lilith the Black,
Kisaragi’s
top
executive!’”““I don’t want to do that””
“Oh? If you
have any complaints about my perfect plan, then I’m all ears.”
Lilith,
upset that we rejected her plan, began to wave her tentacles at us before
suddenly
retracting
them.
“That guy
coming over here is a hero! He looks like a normal person but they wear those
lame belts
around their waist, see! When looking for heroes, look at their wrists and
waists!
Some have a
card-type gadget but most have belts they can use to transform!”
When I
looked over at Lilith’s quick whisper, a tall young man was walking over
towards
us.
“Lady
Lilith, aren’t heroes supposed to operate in groups of five? Isn’t it
suspicious that
they’re
just wandering alone?”
“Sometimes
you get those loner types to like to play hero on their own. He’s probably
one of them.
Actually, we got a tip earlier. Said there was some hero guy wandering around
here by
himself. Even though we’re an evil organization, folks like us enough to where
they give
us info
like this from time to time.”
While I was
whispering to Lilith, the guy continued walking this way, eyes glued to some
kind of
gadget.
“Alright,
time for an advanced plan! I’ll pretend to be a scared girl being chased by you
bad guys
and run up to the hero all panicked. You guys act all cocky and say ‘Hey buddy,
unless
you wanna
get hurt, hand the cutie over.’ The second he stands to shield me, bam! We take
him
out!’
““...Sure...””
Are we
seriously going with that plan? I mean, I am a hero you know. Even Faustress
looks kind
of taken aback...
Just then,
noticing us, the man stops in his tracks and begins wearing a look of caution
on his
face.
“Hm? You,
in the black suit, you’re with Kisaragi, aren't you? Hold on, you’re..!”
“Please
help me! These two suddenly showed up and kidnapped poor innocent ‘ol me!”
As Lilith
ran over with tears in her eyes, the man thrust out his hand and raised his
voice.“STAY BAAAAAACK! You’re Lilith The Black, the embodiment of malice and
evil, and the
criminal
with the highest bounty in the world! What’s with that weird outfit! What are
you
planning
now?!”
“What kind
of name is that to give a helpless pretty little girl!”
Lilith
tried to argue, but the man continued to hold out his arm as a warning. Seeing
that
the jig was
up, Lilith gave a sly smile and,
“Well, now
that my true identity is exposed, I suppose it can’t be helped. Combat Agents
F-18 and
F-19! Start filming and stream this live on the internet! Let’s show the world
this hero’s
humiliating
defeat!”
Since she’s
a top executive, she probably thinks she can’t ever lose in a 1-on-1 fight.
Honestly,
what the hero said isn’t untrue, she really is the embodiment of malice and
evilness.
So, obeying
the order, I began filming, but looking through the camera, something felt off
about that
guy. Even though he was facing one of Kisaragi’s top executives, there wasn’t
any
fear or
panic on his face.
“Hahahaha!
Come on, shower me with praise and beg for forgiveness and maybe I’ll let
you off!
With that in mind, what do you think of my outfit? Give me an answer between
10,000
and 100,000
words!”
Suddenly a
voice called out from behind us addressing Lilith as she started to threaten
the hero.
“To be
blunt, it doesn’t suit you. You’re a mad scientist and a villain, so you look
best
wearing a
lab coat while laughing maniacally.”
As Lilith
began dripping with sweat, we slowly turned around together and,
“You
totally took the bait for the fake tip, Lilith The Black! For love, justice,
and money, I
shall
defeat you here and now!”
Leading the
group behind us was a man in red, and over 20 heroes were gathered
behind him.
4“Please
don’t leave us behind Lady Lilith! You’re a top executive, right? Just kick
those
guys away!”
“Don’t be
ridiculous, F-18! My style is calculated long distance firepower! Getting
swarmed
like this puts me at a huge disadvantage!”
“Woaaah!
They just grazed my head! My proud feathers!”
Chasing
after Lilith, who pretended to fight but ran away before anyone else, we headed
back home.
As the
heroes fired strange lasers following behind closely, Lilith spoke into her device.
“It’s me,
Lilith The Black! I’ve been trapped by heroes! Send backup immediately!”
“Got it
Lady Lilith! You can do it! Go, keep it up!”
Lilith
threw the device in frustration at the operator's cheers.
“What are
you doing Lady Lilith?! Aren’t you supposed to be requesting
reinforcements?!”
“Shit,
you’re right! Stupid operator, why mess around at a time like this! I’m going
to
make you
suffer when I get back home!”
“You just
said ‘Make you suffer’ didn’t you! It’s because you do things like that that
people
treat you this way!”
Faustress
gave her a piece of his mind, but Lilith just looked flustered and,
“Here’s the
plan! I specialize in fighting at a distance! You two just keep them busy and
hold them
off until I create enough space!”
“You’re
just going to bail on us, aren’t you!”
“Or maybe
you’re planning to blow us away with the heroes when you create that
space!”
While the
three of us are busy arguing like fools, the heroes are getting closer.“Damn
you useless agents and your instincts! ...huh?”
Suddenly, a
yellow colored hero stepped right in front of us as we tried to continue
fleeing.
Seeing
this, Lilith gritted her teeth and turned to face the oncoming heroes.
“Fighter
F-18, F-19, listen up! Get past that hero who’s blocking the way, no matter what!
Then bring
backup!”
Figuring
that she’d be caught if she spent time fighting the hero in front of us, Lilith
gave
us that
order.
If someone
this evil is willing to put their life on the line, the situation must be
really bad.
Faustress
and I stopped and exchanged nods with one another, and then,
“I’m not
going to obey that order. I’m a hero after all, I could never leave children
behind.”
“I’m an
officer of the Demon Lord’s army, so I’m used to evil deeds, but letting women
and
children hold off the enemy so I can escape? That’s not evil, that’s the action
of a coward,
so I refuse
your order.”
If we’re
going to escape, then we’re going to escape together.
“Rejecting
an executive’s order huh? You got some guts. I’ll introduce you to someone
soon, a stupid
senior of yours who’d probably say the same thing.”
Since her
back was facing us, we couldn’t see expression, but judging from her tone,
she was
smiling.
I stared
down the hero blocking our way and told Faustress,
“Let’s do
this Faustress! I don’t know what squad he’s from, but yellow can’t be that
tough!”
“That’s
straight from the combat agent handbook, right? Green and yellow are weaker
than red!
Hero, just making sure, but you don’t mind pushing back our return home by a
little bit,
right?!”
In other
words, he’s going to use the magic he’s saved up for returning home.
“Y-you
bastards! Don’t discriminate against heroes by color! I’d never lose to mere
combat
agents!”
Ignoring
the words said by whatever yellow that was, I smiled to faustress.“If you’re
done with this world, go ahead and save your magic. I myself still haven’t had
enough
fried chicken!”
“I still
have plenty of reasons to hang on here! Baths, beer, tonkatsu, and all the
other
amazing
food I haven’t tried yet!”
I then used
my hero skill ‘item box’ and summoned the holy sword to my hand, causing
the hero’s
eyes to widen.
“...Wait,
what? What was that right now? That doesn’t look like your typical Kisaragi
teleportation
tech...”
Ignoring
whatever the yellow was saying, I began channeling my magical power to
unleash my
ultimate sword attack.
Next to me,
Faustress was praying to the great spirit of the wind.
“What’s
this?! Why did it suddenly get cloudy! Why is the wind blowing so much?!”
For some
reason, the yellow looked nervous at Faustress preparing his magic, even
though
mutants and executives use magic all the time. To prove it, Lilith was behind
us shooting
lightning
and lasers from her tentacles laughing maniacally.
“Hahahaha!
You puny heroes, come at me! If you can’t beat me even with all these
numbers,
I’ll put you on tomorrow’s front page for the world to laugh at you!”
“Damn it,
surround her! We’re going to show her who’s boss!”
“W-wait a
minute, something’s wrong! The sky suddenly clouded over and went pitch
dark!”
The other
heroes also showed signs of nervousness at the sudden darkening of the
clouds. It
seems Faustress cast one of his trump cards, a massive storm spell.
“My name is
Christoseles Ares Grace! When I combine the holy sword with my powers,
even you
heroes won’t walk away unscathed!”
“Why is
your sword glowing! Did you guys start using light sabers or something?!
Between
that and the sudden storm, what the heck is going on?!?!”
While the
yellow was confused, I delivered my battle speech and unleashed the sword’s
holy power.
“Here I
goooooooo!”“You guys definitely aren’t combat agents! Where in the world did
you guys come from?!”
Ignoring
such questions, I slashed forward with my holy sword!
5
“Welcome
home hero. The bath is being prepared, so please wait a moment. I heard you
were very
active today.”
Dragging my
body back to the mansion, Ms. Kiku greeted me.
“Nah I
didn’t do much, just held them off for a bit. The real star is Belial.
Seriously, how is
she so
strong? I’m going to start losing confidence.”
While we
were battling the heroes, Belial showed up thanks to the operator’s
instructions.
Since the
base they went to attack was totally deserted, along with the tip-off Lilith
received,
it seems like this whole thing was a trap since the beginning.
When Belial
heard we were in trouble, she literally flew over to us using her powers. As
she
descended from the raging storm, the heroes fell into chaos, and with two
executives on the
field, it
became a one-sided slaughter.
Faustress
was injured, but it wasn’t life-threatening, so a night in the infirmary should
fix
him up.
As I
chilled in the living room waiting for the bath to heat up, Ms. Kiku gently set
down
some tea in
front of me.
“Though
she’s a tomboy now, the young lady used to be quite shy and quiet.”
“...Come
on, Belial being shy? That has to be a joke, right? She’s the type to fix
problems by
punching her way through them. What could have possibly caused her to change
her
personality so much?”When I couldn’t hold back my return, Ms. Kiku gave a wry
smile and said,
“Back when
Kisaragi was just getting started, a young boy applied for a part time job as
a combatant
agent. At first, everyone thought he would quit right away, but despite his
complaints,
he kept working and eventually earned the trust of the top executives.”
Could that
boy be the one the executives always mention? Combat Agent No. 6?
“Lady
Astaroth used to be terrifyingly cold-hearted, strict with both herself and
others.
But no
matter how harshly she pushed that boy away, he kept following her around—and
in the
end, he
melted her frozen heart.”
The one
Lilith was talking about, Astaroth’s crush or whatever, yeah it’s probably that
guy.
“And that
boy often took the young lady, who had been quiet, introverted, and prone to
staying
indoors, outside to have fun. And thanks to him, she became much more cheerful
and
began truly
smiling.”
Belial is
far from being just cheerful these days, but I’ll let that slide.
“And Lady
Lilith, who used to be serious and dour, learned how to have fun with others
and play
games thanks to him.”
“Sorry, I
can’t let that slide. What did you say about Lady Lilith?”
What she
said felt unreal, so I cut Ms. Kiku off as she told her story.
“The Lilith
of old was a girl so serious, she had never even played games or read
manga, and
just threw herself into her research. That boy taught her it’s ok to take
breaks and
showed her
all sorts of fun things.”
“So, that
person is the root of all her evil?”
That person
must be the reason Lilith turned out to be such a lousy boss.
Ms. Kiku
let out an amused soft giggle.
“However,
one day that boy suffered serious injuries while protecting Lady Astaroth from
a hero.
Knowing any normal treatment wouldn’t save him, Lady Lilith experimented on her
own
body with
reconstructive surgery. After it proved successful, she went all out to save
him by...”
...Uh, is
it really ok for a nobody like me to hear this story?As I stayed silent, Ms.
Kiku continued the story, sounding cheerful for some reason.
“So, after
basically giving up being human to survive, the boy was offered a life-time
retirement
severance pay by Lady Astaroth and was ordered to leave Kisaragi and live in
peace...
However, he refused the money and decided to stay with Kisaragi.”
...Kisaragi
is supposed to be an evil organization...
“Afterwards,
Lady Astaroth and the young lady underwent reconstructive surgery
themselves
and reportedly took revenge on the hero that injured the boy.”
They’re all
supposed to be villains. Why is everyone so charming..?
Ms. Kiku
then gave a soft smile and,
“After
that, Lady Astaroth softened so much that those around her became worried. Lady
Lilith, who
had always been super serious, began seriously getting into evil deeds and
playing,
becoming
who she is now. And the young lady became super lively after the surgery, so
much
so that the
boy began yelling ‘Give me back Yukari! The shy, gentle, introverted version!’
...Well,
a lot
happened, but that’s how things settled down to what they are now...”
“I just
heard something crazy! That last part! What happened to Lady Belial after the
surgery!”
Grabbing
her by the shoulder and shaking her, Ms. Kiku averted her eyes.
“Lady
Lilith mentioned something along the lines of ‘During the surgery, a lot of
evil
points were
added,’ but being ignorant of other worldly matters, I don’t quite understand
what
that
means.”
“That’s
really messed up! She must have done something crazy!”
The next
day.
Called by
Astaroth, I was currently kneeling before the 3 top executives in their office.
“Combat
Agent F-18, I heard you did your best yesterday alongside F-19.
Seeing
Astaroth smile like that, my cheeks unconsciously began to warm up. As
expected of
a top executive of an evil organization, taking any chance to make you fall for
her.
This is
what they mean by a femme fatale.
“So, as a
bonus, I got you what you wanted...”“Ooooooh!”
I couldn’t
help but let out a joyous shout at what Astaroth offered me.
“Um, you
seem quite happy... Are you really ok with a reward like this?”
“Yes! This
is the greatest reward of all!”
Lady
Astaroth wore a confused expression, but the people of this water-rich country
don’t
understand how amazing this is. Seeing me nuzzle the reward I received, Lord
Belial
muttered
quietly.
“You know,
you can buy as many faucets as you want at the home improvement store.
You guys
are seriously so weird.”
...huh.
Hey, no way
this magical item that produces water in infinite quantities could be sold just
anywhere,
right? And that’s when it happened.
“You’re not
thinking that water seriously just magically comes out of nowhere if you have
a faucet,
are you?”
For some
reason, Lilith said that before she started grinning, as if she were having
fun.
“...It
doesn’t work like that?”
At my
words, as I hugged the faucet like treasure, Lilith toppled over.
“Hahahaha,
what an idiot we have here! Ahhahahaha, this is something you attach at
the end of
a water pipe! The actual water comes from somewhere else!”
“Um... You
all are foreigners, right? You see, there are many records from the past of
people
seeing a faucet for the first time, mistakenly thinking it’s a device that
produces endless
water, and
trying to steal it...”
“Ahahahahaha,
what year do you even think it is? Hey, Combatant F-18, you just got a
useless
faucet as a reward, how do you feel about that? Hahahaha!!”
Astaroth
tried to be considerate, but Lilith rolling on the floor laughing her head off
spoiled the
mood.
“...Yeah.
Honestly, I feel kinda like Combatant No. 6 did when he heard that the surgery
on Lady
Belial didn’t go well.”Lilith, who had been rolling on the floor, suddenly
flinched and trembled at that remark.
“...That’s
not true. I didn’t mess up the surgery or anything.”
“I heard
that Lady Belial was much more gentle and sweet before the surgery! You really
messed up
big time! No wonder they call you the embodiment of malice and evil!”
As I shook
Lilith’s shoulder, who was lying down and covering her ears, Belial said,
“Well, a
lot of people say my personality changed after the surgery, but I don’t really
mind.”
“H-hey, she
said it herself, so it’s not anyone else’s business to butt in!”
Belial then
smiled at Lilith who suddenly started acting all defiant.
“Before
undergoing the modification surgery, Lilith explained to me that increasing my
pyrokinesis
ability would require allocating more brain capacity to it, and I was the one
who
asked to
dedicate all of that capacity to ability development, just enough so it
wouldn’t interfere
with daily
life. Thanks to that, I gained enough strength to protect you all, and I have
no regrets.”
“Ahhh,
sorry, Belial!! Please don’t smile at me like that—it sometimes reminds me of
how
you used to
be! I’ll do my best with the research to get you back to normal!”
“This is
the worst! Lady Lilith, you're truly the worst! If you have time to play games
and
fool
around, then spend it on researching a way to fix her!”
As she
watched me condemn Lilith, Astaroth gave a nostalgic smile, then took out a
piece of
paper and began writing something on it.
“Ooh,
what’s that Astaroth? Don’t tell me you’re writing a love letter to No. 6.”
“I-it’s not
a love letter or anything! Seeing Lilith bawling her eyes out just made me a
little
nostalgic,
okay? It’s more like a cheer-up letter to the folks on the field!”
Leaving
Lilith to wail and scream, I decided to stay in this world a little longer to
search
for a way
to save the Kingdom of Grace.
“Let’s see,
how should I start it...
‘Dear
everyone out there, Here on Earth, all of us at Kisaragi are doing the same
thing
we do everyday—’’
Dear
everyone on Earth
“And so I
said ‘This world doesn’t need two evil organizations! I’m going to end you,
here
and now!’
And after I said that I tore him to shreds with my ultimate weapon, the
R-Buzzsaw.”
““Ohh!!””
We were
currently in a meeting room of our hideout, nestled quietly in the suburbs. I
was
currently
bragging to my fellow combatant agents from Earth about my brilliant
achievements
here.
“And then,
as the female executive, terrified by my awesome power, tearfully prepared
for the
end, I told her ‘I don’t like killing beautiful women like yourself, so I’ll
let you off for today.’
No doubt
she totally fell for me then and there.”
““O-oh...””
The lines I
said might have been a little different, but it’s close enough.
“Now here’s
where things get tricky. After the battle, I couldn’t move because I was in my
cooldown
state from lifting my limiter... and maybe this was because she was so overcome
with
emotion
after I saved the kingdom, but get this! Snow, the captain of the royal guard,
kissed me
while I was
still down! If that cooldown had lasted even a second longer... I don’t even
want to
think of
what could have happened.”
““...............””
It’s true
that I was kissed, and there’s no doubt something bad would have happened
had the
cooldown not ended, so I’m definitely not lying. But for some reason, everyone
went
quiet.
“I
seriously doubt that.”
“You’re
totally lying right? I mean, getting kissed out of nowhere? What is this, some
kind
of rom-com
manga?”
“No matter
how you look at it, that’s way too easy. I get that female knights are supposed
to be sexy,
so I can’t say it’s impossible, but...”
They
started saying crap like that, eying me with suspicion.
“I’m not
making this up! If you don’t believe me, go ask Snow yourself ‘Is it true you
kissed No.
6 when he couldn’t move?’”“Yeah, I’ll go ask her, because there’s no way
something like that actually happened!”
“Stuff like
that only happens in fantasy worlds, and this isn’t a fantasy world, it’s an
alien
planet!”
“Hey, let’s
go look for Snow! Then we’ll tell her ‘No. 6 was saying all kinds of things
about
you!’ and
rat him out!”
Just as
everyone was getting fired up, we suddenly heard a knock at the door.
“Hey you
guys, no idea why but all of you have been summoned to the castle.”
Just as we
were about to start throwing punches at one another, Alice interrupted and
spoke up.
“No. 6,
what the hell did you do?! I’m not getting kicked out of this place just
because
you screwed
up! This country is totally filled with women, right? I’m definitely going to
become a
local
here!”
“Don’t
blame this all on me, I don’t remember doing anything bad enough to get
summoned!
And it’s not just me; you guys got summoned too. Don’t you have any idea what
this
is about?”
As we loudly
walked down the corridor, Alice spoke up.
“So you
remember doing something, just not bad enough to get summoned? If you want
me to
defend you, I’d like some information beforehand. So should I ask what you
did?”
“I didn’t
do anything major. See that Grace kingdom flag flying at the top of the castle?
I
swapped it
with some underwear I stole from Snow’s room. What about you guys?”
Since I
haven’t heard any announcement for evil points yet, no one should have noticed
the
underwear fluttering atop the castle.
“I just
went ahead and planted some mint to help brighten up Grace’s courtyards.”
“I guess
the closest thing would be swapping the oil used for maintaining the castle’s
armory with
cooking oil..?”
“I didn’t
do anything either... Except put up a sign saying ‘Grace Love Hotel’ in front
of
the
castle.”
“What the
hell did you guys do? There’s no way I can defend this.”
Alice
exclaims in exasperation, but all we did were just harmless pranks.
“Now hold
on Alice, it’s not like being called in automatically means we’re in trouble.
Maybe
they’ve noticed all our hard work and we’re getting called in for a special
bonus or a pay
raise!”“Y-yeah,
that’s right! We’ve been hard at work killing monsters around town!”
“Yeah! Even
the Demon Lord’s army isn’t attacking because they’re so afraid of us!”
“We’re
Kisaragi combat agents! Let’s walk in there with confidence and show them who’s
boss!”
While Alice
gave us a look clearly wanting to tell our shameless selves something, we
made our
way to Tillis’ quarters.
I gave a
quick knock before opening the door, not waiting for a response.
“You
summoned us, so here we are! But Tillis, if this is just some small thing...”
“Please
listen, Lady Tillis! It wasn’t me! I have a perfect Alibi!”
“Alright, I
understand, now please step back! It should be just about time for Sir Six to
arrive...
Ah!”
My eyes met
with Tillis, who was currently having her skirt pulled as Snow clung onto
her, to
where I then quietly closed the door.
“Looks like
they’re tied up, let's come back another time.”
“““Agreed.”””
“I get how
you feel, but you’re not leaving.”
After
Alice’s remark, I hesitantly opened the door to see Tillis, straightening her
clothes,
standing
next to Snow, who wore an arrogant attitude, as if nothing had happened.
“We’ve been
expecting you, Sir Six. The truth is, something troublesome has appear–”
“Magical
items have been stolen from our kingdom’s treasury. This treasury is guarded
with strict
security and protected with multiple levels of magic.”
The overly
intimidating Snow interrupted the gently smiling Tillis.
“The reason
we called for Kisaragi’s assistance in this matter is due to you and your
possession
of advanced skills–”
“Yes. In
other words, this crime could only have been committed by someone with
advanced
skills. Surely you understand what we’re trying to say by now, yes?”
Tillis’
expression gradually tensed up at Snow’s unnecessary interruptions, before
clearing
her throat,“These stolen items can be extremely dangerous if used by the wrong
types of people.
At this
point, I don’t mind the methods, "Please, recover the magic items–”
“You reap
what you sow! Clearly, the culprit is you guys, so hurry up and conf–Ow!”
Apparently
having run out of patience, Tillis hit Snow with her fan.
“Considering
your past behavior, you’re the primary suspect at this point in time.”
“P-please
wait Lady Tillis! As I’ve said several times already, I have the perfect
alibi!”
I see. Now
that I’ve got a pretty good grasp of the situation, I think I have an idea of
who
the culprit
is. Pointing straight at Snow, I said,
“In our
country, someone who constantly insists that they have a perfect alibi is
usually
the
culprit. Which means you’re guilty!”
“If someone
dies alone in a secure room, it’s almost always a case of murder!”
“We don’t
even know how to use magic items or know their worth in the first place!”
“If there
was anything we’d steal, it’d probably be women’s underwear!”
After
hearing everything, Alice nodded and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
“And so the
culprit is decided. Case closed!”
“Nothing’s
closed! I’m not the culprit! During the time of the theft, I was meeting with
the
chairman of
the Oswald Trading Company! I’m not lying! You can confirm it with him
yourself!”
At Snow's
unusually confident words, Tillis approached the knight by the door and
whispered
something to them.
Judging by
how the knight then rushed off somewhere, it seems they were ordered to
confirm the
information. Snow then stared directly at Tillis.
“Lady
Tillis, you should know me well enough. If it were me, I’d go after the magic
swords,
treasured swords, and other valuable items. Magic items themselves are rare,
and
selling
them is likely to lead a trail. I’d handle things much more carefully.”
Even Tillis
is taken aback by Snow’s words.
Just as I
was thinking we should arrest her regardless of if she was the culprit or not,
Alice spoke
up.
“Fine, if
you’re that confident, let’s show you the Kisaragi skills you hold in such high
regard.”2
We moved to
the treasury and carried out the tasks exactly as Alice had instructed us to
do so.
After observing the results of our work, Alice pointed towards Snow.
“As the
android that oversees the Kisaragi work here, I declare that, ‘Clearly, the
culprit
is you.’”
“You’re
blind! If you’ve got evidence, then show it!”
Branded as
the culprit by Alice, Snow barked back at her defensively. After searching for
some
fingerprints around the vault, we found some belonging to Snow.
“There were
so many instances of your fingerprints in there, it would only make sense
that you
were constantly going in and out of the vault. Now the only thing to do is to
tear down
that
perfect alibi of yours...”
Just as
Alice was speaking, the knight Tillis had sent away earlier came running back,
out of
breath.
“Ma’am! The
chairman of the Oswald trading company stated that they have no
knowledge
of anyone under the name of Snow. They say they’ve never even met.”
“P-please
wait, Lady Tillis! T-that can’t be true! I’m certain I’ve definitely met with
the
man!”
Thinking
the case closed, Alice and the others began to head back. As I grabbed Snow’s
arm to take
her in for questioning, she continued to spout out excuses on why it couldn’t
possibly be
her. Tillis looked at her in silence, wearing a sorrowful expression.
“Honestly!
I told you it wasn’t me! I can’t believe that even Lady Tillis doubted me along
with the
rest of you!”
“I-I’m
sorry Snow, but weren’t you the one who brought up the idea of judging someone
by their
usual behavior in the first place..?”
Tillis apologized
with a guilty expression, though she still seemed somewhat
unconvinced.
Seeing the two of them in such a role reversal, I couldn’t help but chime
in.“You’re acting like you’re all clean and innocent, but what you did was
pretty bad too, you
know. I
wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up getting arrested as well.”
“Nonsense!
I only introduced him to a skilled mercenary group so the Oswald Trading
Company
could operate safely! So this isn’t a bribe, but legitimate payment!”
After
questioning Snow in the interrogation room, we decided to put the matter on
hold
for the
time being. It seems the trading chairman initially denied everything because
they were
afraid that
what they were paying Snow could be considered a bribe and they would be
punished.
When we
explained the situation properly to them, they verified Snow’s alibi.
“Alright,
the alibi is one thing, but why the heck were your fingerprints everywhere at
the
vault?
You’d have to be visiting there pretty often to leave that many.”
“Inside the
vault, surrounded by all the gold and treasure, there are some magical
swords in
there, and I like taking care of them, as a hobby. I mean, who else but me
could take
care of
them? I’m the captain of the royal guard after all–I deserve this privilege.”
I was totally
taken aback by how shamelessly honest Snow’s words were. Then, Tillis
lost the
apologetic look on her face, and began trembling violently.
“So it was
you who used cooking oil to clean the treasured swords!”
“H-h-hold
on a moment, Lady Tillis! This must be some kind of mistake! I definitely used
the
maintenance oil from the armory! This is a setup! I’m being framed!”
“Who would
even set up such a foolish trap? From now on, access to the vault is
forbidden!”
Tillis
looked down at Snow as she crumbled to her knees.
“But this
is indeed quite troublesome... I believed the matter settled with Snow as the
culprit,
yet now...”
Frowning,
Tillis muttered to herself in distress. Taking advantage of Tillis in that
state, I
decided to
ask her a question that’s been on my mind.
“By the
way, what exact magic item was stolen? Maybe if we knew we could better find
the real
culprit.”“The stolen item, simply put, is an item that can change one’s own
appearance.
Depending
on who uses it, it can help facilitate fraud and theft, and is particularly
effective in
aiding
one’s escape after committing crimes.”
I see. So
you could impersonate a rich person and steal valuables, or say, impersonate
Snow and
confidently walk into the treasure vault and steal its contents. Sounds like a
pretty
convenient
tool for all sorts of mischief.
Suddenly,
it hits me.
“I know who
the culprit is. Gather the best fighters you can, right away.”
Alice’s
voice came through a transceiver to all the agents spread throughout the
Kingdom of
Grace.
“Has
everyone taken a position? The knights from the castle are going to evacuate
the
residents.
Then,”
Under the
command of Alice, the brains of the Kisaragi operation here, the plan to catch
the culprit
was set in motion. The one who had stolen the item was none other than...
“Tiger
man’s weakness is small children! If you have to, use one as a shield–he’d
never
lay a hand
on them. Whatever you do, do not engage him directly. Treat him as some sort of
savage
magical beast.”
At the
moment, I was stationed at a tower overlooking the city, giving orders
alongside
Alice,
Snow, and Grimm. As Alice continued to call out through the transceiver, Snow,
wearing
an
indescribable expression, spoke up beside her.
“...Hey,
No. 6, are you really sure that Tiger man is the one behind this? I mean, given
his tastes
and preferences, I would understand his motive, but what if he’s innocent, like
I
was..?”
“Listen
carefully Snow. That guy’s ultimate dream is to undergo modification surgery
and
become a
little kid. That’s the reason he’s working so hard and racking up so many
achievements
in Kisaragi. So imagine what he’d do if an item appeared that could make his
dream a
reality instantly. He’d go straight for it, like a cat to catnip, only far more
irresistible.”
Knowing that
hardcore lolicon monster, he’d definitely go for it. The way he feels about it
is just too
sincere....Suddenly Grimm, looking sleepy having been called awake for the
assembly earlier,
muttered,
“Come to think of it, Tiger man once approached me and asked ‘Could you cast a
permanent
curse on me and turn me into a little kid? If it works, I’ll do anything you
want. If it
fails, you
have to marry me’”
“There’s no
way you actually went through with that, right?”
Grimm
grinded her teeth.
“Since Lord
Zenarith is the god of misfortune, appearance enhancing curses have no
effect. If
they did, I’d constantly be casting curses trying to turn people into beautiful
suitors for
myself.
When I told him that, he said ‘Oh, you’re just a useless old hag, nya’ so I put
a curse on
him that
makes every word he says come out as ‘Grimm’s so cute.’”
“...Just to
be clear, you didn’t steal the item, right?”
Grimm’s
curses, having the power to defeat any foe if used correctly, is our ace in the
hole this
time around. Given Tiger man’s preferences though, if Grimm faced him head on,
there’s no
way he’d hold back.
As me and
Grimm discussed this, Alice was making the final preparations for the
operation.
“Alright,
let’s go through this one more time. While Rose distracts Tiger man, all agents
move in
close. Then, on my signal, throw the special-alloy wire nets to restrain him.
After that,
everyone
fire their tranquilizer darts that are powerful enough to sleep an elephant at
him.”
The
strategy involves using Rose to bait the lolicon Tiger man, and swiftly
incapacitate
him.
The
interrogation to determine whether or not he’s actually the culprit will go
down only
after he’s
been apprehended and subdued.
“...That
said, since I’m unaware of Tiger man’s full strength, this approach seems
rather
heavy
handed. Tranquilizer darts aren’t something to shoot at just anybody, right?”
Since
getting a Japanese sword to replace her broken Flame-something, Snow, who
thinks
rather highly of Tiger man, has been expressing her concern, but...
“Sure,
since it’s powerful enough to down an elephant in one shot, if it hit a person
it’d be
disastrous.
But Tiger man’s a monster, so we have to be extra cautious here. And with Alice
in
charge,
this can’t be all there is to the plan, right?”
“Yep. I’ve laid
a powerful trap just for him.”“A trap..? But isn’t Tiger man technically your
boss?”
While Grimm
was a bit put off by what we said, Alice suddenly got a call on her
walkie-talkie.
“Miss
Alice, it’s Rose! I’ve located Tiger man! He’s right in front of the school
gate, sitting
inside a
wooden box that says ‘please adopt me’ while meowing non-stop!”Is Tiger man
really trying to disguise himself as a kitten on the way to school?I guess he’s
trying to get a kid to pick him up and take him home. Compared to his days
fighting
wars back home, I suppose it’s good to see him enjoying himself here.
Alice
momentarily froze hearing Rose’s report, before quickly regaining her
composure.
“...All
agents, make your way to this position. If you see a large creature in a wooden
box, do not
open fire right away. Rose will make first contact with the creature. You’re
just there
for
support.”
“Miss
Alice, this is bad. Tiger man is clearly meowing at me from his box. Our eyes
totally
met... Do I have to pick him up..?”
No surprise
Tiger man’s in top form today, he’s Kisaragi’s most feared mutant after all.
But making
Alice freeze up twice? That’s seriously impressive.
“...Even I,
Earth’s top supercomputer, can’t predict what you Kisaragi combat agents and
mutants are
going to do. That’s honestly kind of amazing. You should be prou–”
“Miss
Alice, Tiger man keeps meowing while saying stuff like ‘Grimm’s so cute,
Grimm’s
so cute...’
I seriously have no clue what’s going on. What am I even supposed to do..?”
“Just put
that freak mutant out of its misery already, my head’s about to short-circuit!
Everyone,
you’re authorized to engage Tiger man!”
It seems
Alice lost it over Tiger man’s behavior.
3
Sent to a
wild, unknown planet, Kisaragi Combat Agents are meant to be unstoppable,
thanks to
modern science. The same combat agents, hyped up by that promise are currently,
“No good!
The special-alloy wire isn’t working! He just tore it apart with his bare
hands!”
“The
tranquilizer darts don’t work either! What the hell are we supposed to do with
this
guy?!”
“This guy’s
taking out combat agents and knights while yelling ‘Grimm’s so cute!’ I
thought
this guy was some kind of lolicon! What the hell is going on here?!”
“That
chimera kid is clinging to his back biting onto him, but he’s not even fazed!
It’s no
good! We
need to get stronger weapons!”
I was
totally beaten by this same lolicon in the past. As I looked down at the battle
from
the tower
above, I couldn’t help but be impressed and mutter,
“That’s
Tiger man for you, meowing his heart out but still the strongest.”
“W-w-w-what
are you going to do No. 6? The knights we lent you were our elite you
know? The
strongest knights in our country! We didn’t expect Tiger man to be this
strong!”Snow yelled with a grimace on her face. Having given up on trying to
capture Tiger man
with their
bare hands, the knights began swinging their blades at him, only for him to not
even
attempt to
dodge out the way and the blades shatter on impact.
There’s
just no way the knights can hope to damage a mutant whose skin was made to
withstand a
hero’s weapon.
“Damn it, I
lost my cool hearing about his actions. Sorry, this one is my fault.”
“You’re
strangely human-like for an android. But hey, it’s normal for robots to start
picking
up on some
feelings, so don’t sweat it.”
“Now’s not
the time for that! He’s coming this way!”
Looking
over in response to Grimm’s words, Tiger man did indeed seem to be coming
right at
us. He shouldn’t have known our location, but I guess that’s just his
animalistic instinct.
“Hey, I
just made eye contact with him! Could he really see us from this far away?!”
Nevermind.
It seems he just spotted us with his crazy good eyesight.
Alice began
giving more instructions through the transceiver.
“All
agents, stop engaging with Tiger man and make your way to the tower. We’re
going
to activate
our trap for him. These should immobilize him temporarily, so be ready to wrap
him
up with
wire.”
As the
combat agents began coming in, Grimm tilted her head in confusion.
“Hey Alice,
what kind of trap did you set up for him?”
“You’ll see
it when you look down at the tower’s entrance. We spent a lot of money on
this one,
and we’re quite proud of it.”
Grimm and I
looked down the window towards the entrance of the tower just like Alice
told us to.
“...There’s
just a little girl with black hair.”
“This is
Lilith, the ultimate lolicon bait. Her body is made up of super strong glue,
and she
constantly
says the phrase ‘I love you big bro!’ to lure in creepy guys. She’s a weapon
designed
specifically
against lolicons.”“If Lilith sees that, she’s gonna lose it.”
Looking
down, we saw the evil Kisaragi corporation's supreme leader, Lilith The Black,
turned into
an android and standing guard at the entrances of the tower.
If a
lolicon gets blown up by a lolita-esque doll right in front of them, they’ll
suffer more
than one
kind of damage.
“You’re way
too fond of self-destruction! What are you going to do if Tiger man becomes
traumatized?”
“Relax.
Even if it’s an android, I wouldn’t let anything that looks like a kid blow up,
except
me. It’s
mostly made of glue, with some liquid metal mixed in there. Just watch, you’ll
see.”
Yeah,
Kisaragi may be an evil organization, but blowing up kids is definitely not ok.
And hey,
you better not go blowing yourself up either.
“He’s here!
The knights couldn’t even slow him down! So this is the power of one of your
executives,
huh...”
I turned my
head at Snow’s warning, and Tiger man was almost right on top of us.
From here,
I could see the silhouettes of combat agents appearing and disappearing on
the
rooftops of the houses surrounding the tower, ready to attack at any moment.
With Rose
still clinging to his back, Tiger man stood directly beneath the tower before
raising his
voice loudly.
“GRIMM’S SO
CUUUUUUUUUUUTE!”
I walked up
to Grimm, who was covering her flushed face with both hands.
“Yo! He’s
calling out to you! What the hell did you do to make our mutant start saying
that, huh?
Look at him!”
“Commander,
please stop! I’m sorry! I never thought this might happen when I cast the
curse on
him!”
Underneath
the tower, Tiger man continued to shout ‘Grimm’s so cute,’ with the
addressee
blushing deeply and feeling embarrassed.
“Hey,
Commander, no one’s ever called me ‘cute’ so passionately before... He’s not
really my
type, but he’s starting to look kind of cool...”“Tiger man is a hardcore
lolicon. If you catch feelings for him, you’re in for a rough ride.”
Hearing
that, Grimm began repeatedly muttering to herself ‘He’s a lolicon, he’s a
lolicon,’
trying to
convince herself not to fall for him.
“Grimm’s so
cute! Grimm’s so cute! Grimm’ so cute!”
“Hey, it
looks like he’s trying to say something, but I’ve got no idea what. Quit
blushing
and lift
the curse already.”
“Hmm, I
kind of wanted to listen just a little bit longer, but oh well. If I kept
listening, I
might’ve
actually fallen for him...”
Grimm
whispered something quietly, looking regretful, before Tiger man’s body began
to
glow.
“I’ve been
hated and attacked plenty, but you guys really crossed the line here! I can’t
even talk
or reason because of that old hag right there! Get ready, I’m going to show you
what a
mutant is
really capable of!”
Tiger man
must be really angry, because he didn’t even end his sentences meowing. All
the while,
Rose was still clinging to his back and biting into his neck.
Suddenly,
Grimm, who had been all shy just before, spoke up with a straight expression.
“I’m going
to cast an instant-death curse on that monster. If it rebounds back to me, you
guys can
handle the resurrection.”
“Stop that!
That’s annoying no matter the outcome! Don’t start getting serious only at
times like
this!”
While Grimm
was fuming at being called an old hag, Alice pressed a button on her
remote.
“If you
don’t want your tower smashed, get down from there! You got 10 seconds of els-”
...Just as
Tiger man was getting those words out, it happened
“I love you
big bro!”
Tiger man
stopped in his tracks at the sudden ‘I love you big bro!’ His eyes slowly moved
from us up
on the tower, to the little girl in front of him saying such lines–prime bait
for a lolicon.“I love you big bro! I love you big bro!”
“...What
was I even fighting about, nya? Fighting never solves anything... I should have
learned
that from all my battles with the heroes, nya...”
“Grrrrr!”
Still
having Rose biting him on the back of his neck, Tiger man looked up at us with
gentle,
kind eyes.
“So, this
little android is a present for me, nya? I’ll pay you for it if you want, nya.
By the
way, is Rose
nibbling on me some kind of special service too, nya?”
As Tiger
man started spouting some nonsense, Alice pressed another button.
“You damn
lolicon, you’re due for a serious lecture once we’re done!”
The lolicon
trap turned into slime and lunged at Tiger man.
“ –This is
just way too much, nya! And seeing that little girl melt in front of me gave me
some
serious trauma, nya! I demand a lawyer!”
“Grrrrrrrrrrr!”
Tiger
man,wrapped up in a wire with Rose on his back, laid on the ground complaining.
Rose seems
to have gone a bit feral as she continued to growl and bite Tiger man.
Maybe her
chimera instincts were triggered by being able to bite down on such a powerful
monster.
Then, Snow
bent down in front of Tiger man, who was currently meowing nonstop.
“Alright
Tiger man, you’re currently under suspicion of stealing,” She said, somewhat
apologetically,
trying not to harbor any ill will towards Tiger man after being given the
Japanese
sword.
“That’s not
me, nya. The one who stole your panties and swapped them with the
country’s
flag was No. 6.”
<Evil
points acquired>
“No. 6,
what’s going on?! How did my underwear end up there?!”“You’re so mean Tiger
man! No one knew yet!”
As Snow,
who just slapped me in the face, ran off to the castle, Tiger man grinned.
“You did
all this to me, so I’m going to expose everyone’s misdeeds too, nya.”
As all the
combat agents present began to tremble, Aice, who was currently turning the
lolicon
trap back to its original form, said
“This isn’t
about Snow’s panties. What we’re looking for is a magic item stolen from the
treasure
vault. An item that lets you change your appearance into anything you want.”
“Y-yeah,
Tiger man told me before that if he succeeds as a monster, that he wants to get
turned into
a little girl when he’s finished!”
At our
statements, Tiger man just tilted his head.”
“I’m not
the one who stole that, nya. That item just makes someone look like a different
person, but
if you touch them, they feel the same, so it’s pointless.”
“Wait a
minute, how do you know so much about what it’s like to use the magic item if
it
was in the
vault? There should be a strong magical barrier surrounding it...”
Tiger man
went silent at Grimm’s words.
So he had
already tried using the item after hearing rumors..?
“...I’m
pretty sure I put it back where I found it... And just some advice, but a
barrier is
useless if
you only put it at the entrance. You gotta put it on the ceiling and floors
too, nya.”
“Normal people
can’t break through stone floors and ceilings!”
Ignoring
Tiger man and Grimm arguing, Alice crossed her arms with a troubled
expression.
“Well,
great... He’s cleared of suspicion. Now we have to restart the investigation.”
Yeah, it
really feels like we’ve hit a dead end. If we keep searching like this, we’re
definitely
going to end up going nowhere...
4Inside the
castle, in Tillis’ room.
After we
finished our report of the investigation, Tillis said “I see... Well, it can’t
be
helped.
Let’s go with that plan then.”
I was
honest and admitted we hit a wall with the investigation, and offered a backup
plan
to lower
the chances of the magical item being used.
The magical
shape shifting item was stolen by one of the demon lord’s elite four, Heine
of the flame.
Anyone
switching their appearances over and over again is probably a spy for the
demon
lord’s army. And spies are executed, with a huge reward given to anyone who
reports
them.
If we
spread that around enough, the one with the item might think twice before using
it.
This is
pretty unfair to Heine, sure, but for the demon lord’s army, the de facto enemy
of
the world,
bad press is probably worn like a badge of honor.
Next time I
cross paths with Heine, I’ll let her know she owes me some thanks.
“Actually,
shouldn’t we also rethink the castle’s security? According to Tiger man, the
vault
guards and barrier were all pretty much useless.”
“I truly
wonder how Sir Tiger man came to know about the vault and its security
measures,
but access is only allowed to few secured individuals. Perhaps moving forward,
it
would be
wise to seal the vault so that no one can open it except when necessary.”
“P-please
wait, Lady Tillis! I-if that’s the case, I strongly suggest we keep the magical
swords and
treasured blades elsewhere! Otherwise, those poor blades won’t get the
maintenance
they need!”
Snow,
looking more desperate than usual, dropped to her knees begging.
“Oh, you’re
right! We definitely do need to keep items that require maintenance
separate.
And I suppose I should refuse to let someone who covered said items in cooking
oil
perform
their maintenance! Does that sound okay?”
“But I
definitely used oil from the armory! I promise!”Snow clung onto Tillis, near
tears, and all I could think of was my colleague who
swapped the
oils and all the evil points they’re racking up.
“Well then
everyone, thank you so much for your hard work on this matter. Although the
case isn’t
resolved, we’ve prepared a reward as a token for our appreciation.”
“Please
listen to me Lady Tilliiiiiissss!!!!”
Leaving
behind Snow, who had now broken into tears, me and Alice left the room.
–The night
after we got the reward money.
Everyone
who helped in this case–my colleagues, Tiger man, and my subordinates
Grimm,
Rose, Snow and Alice–we all went and rented out a tavern for just us.
As everyone
grabbed their cups, my voice echoed throughout the cramped tavern.
“Sure the
case went cold, but thanks to everyone’s hard work, we got a reward from
Tillis!
This is the result of our daily efforts and connections we’ve made with the
locals...”
Just as I
was giving out the greeting, some thugs began making some noise.
“Shut up
and get the damn toast over with already! I wanna start drinking!”
“You talk
too much! It’s all empty crap anyway, so hurry up!”
“You’re
just a low level agent, so don’t go talking like you’re better than us!”
You
bastards!
“I’m the
branch manager of this operation, basically this whole planet! That makes me
top dog
around here! Keep whining and I’ll send grunts like you back to earth!”
“He’s
gotten a title and now he’s acting like a big shot!”
“Hey, let’s
tie this guy up and toss him into the wilderness!”
As we were
gearing up to brawl with one another, Tiger man raised his mug.
“Alright
guys, enough messing around. Time to toast, nya! Cheers!”
““““““Cheers!””””””
Crap, they
beat me to the toast!“...Phew. This entire ordeal was a real mess. You guys
should really try to get some solid
evidence
before making a move on people. If you’d have just listened from the start, you
wouldn’t
have had to fight Tiger man.”
Grimm,
sitting next to me, took a sip from her mug before she started complaining.
“What are
you talking about? We’re an evil organization. We shoot, ask questions later.
We don’t
need any proof.”
I gulped
down my drink and shot back at Grimm.
“I’ve
thought about this for a while now, but I’m surprised your organization hasn’t
fallen
apart. Even
outlaws have some rules they follow.”
“Hey, we’ve
got rules. For example, anyone who lays their hands on a kid gets the death
penalty.”
Grimm
stared intently at Tiger man, who was currently guzzling down his drink as if
nothing had
happened. I figured it was better not to ask what she was thinking.
Across the
table, Alice was feeding Rose some weird meat, maybe to try and power her
up? Rose
was happily munching it down regardless.
Watching
the two of them, Snow sipped her drink a little before speaking up.
“Still, who
the hell stole the magic item? I’ll say it again–that vault should only be
accessible
to a limited number of people. If someone really managed to take it, then it
had to be
someone
from here, right..?”
At first I
thought she was maybe still suspicious of us, but after spending time together
lately and
getting to know everyone’s personalities, it seemed Snow was genuinely just
trying to
figure it
out.
“Hmm, then
maybe the culprit is one of the ‘limited number of people’ who had access.”
“No way.
The only people with access are the royal family, the head of the royal guard,
and some
generals. Just a few high ranking elites really. None of them are stupid enough
to
throw their
life away over a single magical item.”
Saying
that, Snow took another swig of her mug, but I felt like I had an idea of
someone
who might
be in need of a magic item that changes appearances.
“By the way
Snow, is it true you kissed No. 6 while he couldn’t move? He was telling us
all about
it earlier.”“Oh! Yeah, yeah! I wanted to ask about that too!”
At my
colleagues’ question, Snow spat out her drink.
“T-t-t-that’s
not it..! It sort of just happened, or like... It was a thank you of sorts!”
The sight
of a visibly flustered Snow made my colleagues burst into excitement.
“No way! I
thought No. 6 was just making shit up! So the thing about him being in some
serious
trouble if the cooldown lasted any longer, that was true too?!”
“Nice one
No. 6. Now we could get someone to make a doujinshi about Snow messing
around with
him during the cool down!”
“Hey! Let’s
get the word out quick! Tell all the knights and towns folk!”
‘S-Snow,
you’re not seriously...”
It was in
that moment, with both Kisaragi agents and Grimm pressing her, that Snow
began
desperately defending herself.
“Sorry sir,
but we’re booked for today.”
“Is that
so? That’s too bad then. The food here is really wonderful, so it’s truly a
treat
coming here
so often. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to come back another time.”
At the
exchange heard from the tavern’s entrance, all the kisaragi personnel present
turned
their heads.
When
hanging around a tavern or the like, it’s part of the Kisaragi rule book to
turn and
look at
anyone trying to enter.
...The
customer talking with the store clerk suddenly made eye contact with me.
“Hmm...
A-alright then, I suppose that’s that...” said the customer in a panicked
voice,
before
hurriedly trying to leave the tavern.
“Hey buddy,
sounds like you’re a regular around here. Why not stick around and grab
some food?
Don’t worry, I’m feeling generous today, so it’s all on us!”
At my call,
my colleagues whistled.
“You really
gotta stop blowing your cash the moment you get some.”
“I mean,
kicking out the regulars is a bit...”Seeing me scolded by Alice, the regular
hesitated for a moment.
“Sorry,
I’ll have to decline. You’re the ones battling with the demon lord’s army,
right? I
shouldn’t
interfere in such important people’s affairs.”
Despite his
appearance, he spoke in a polite old-fashioned manner and declined with a
bow.
“You don’t
have to be that nice, but if that’s what you want old man...”
The
customer just looks like some ordinary guy you’d see out of any crowd. But
something
about his demeanor, the way he carries himself, seems almost noble-like...
Just as I’m
thinking that, the old man suddenly stops and turns around.
“Come to
think of it, there’s something I’d like to ask. Tillis–er, no... Princess
Tillis is she,
um...”
As if
having trouble finding the words, he trails off, leaving his message vague.
“Has there
been any word of her reciting the ritual prayer to the ancient artifact?”
“...huh?
What ritual are you talking about?”
When I
voiced my question, my colleagues were taken aback.
“He’s
talking about the stupid password you set up, dumbass!”
“Hey, he
seriously forgot it! It’s the one the princess was struggling with so much she
could
barely say it outloud!”
Now that
you mention it, I do vaguely remember something like that.
After
hearing what my colleagues said, the old man appeared a bit disappointed and,
“I
see, still
nothing. Sorry, just a foolish question of mine. You all have a nice evening.”
Leaving
those words behind, he departed.
“...That
weird old guy, you think he’s some sort of washed up noble or something?”
“I’m sure
they’re still a noble. Right now, they’re disguised as poor to secretly enjoy
the
life of a
commoner, only to later reveal ‘Actually, I was a noble all along!’ to surprise
everyone. I
bet they
even have a granddaughter working at that little sardine rice place.”
As all my
colleagues were guessing his background, Alice chimed in.“No, that’s just the
king on the run. Now we’ve found him and who stole the magic item.”
.................
As the
tavern fell silent, Snow kicked her chair and stood up.
“Grimm,
alert Lady Tillis! Rose, come with me! Let’s capture his Majesty!”
The three
of them hurriedly rushed out the tavern, with Alice happily muttering, “Looks
like the
old king is really living his life up. Good for him.”
“Honestly,
it seems more fun to have Tillis scream at that artifact than bother with the
king, so
let's just leave it alone.”
My
colleagues agreed with me and Alice, making mischievous faces.
Dear
everyone on Earth,
Everyone
here at Kisaragi is having a blast!
Blessings
of the Evil God Upon The Chimera and The Undead!
1
It’s been
some time since the decisive battle against the demon lord’s elite four, Heine
and
Galdahald. So far, the ceasefire agreement made with the demon lord’s army has
been
upheld
without any issue. The ceasefire is set to last a month–just enough time to
finish linking
up the
large scale teleporter to earth.
Once that
happens, we’ll be able to call in as many reinforcements from Kisaragi as we
want, and
the demon lord’s army won’t stand a chance. But for the time being, we’re
spending
our days in
uneventful peace.
“...What’s
she doing over there?”
One night,
as I was wandering around the city, I happened across a strange scene. It
was Rose,
holding an old-fashion book tightly to her chest, walking while looking around
nervously.I
thought about calling out to her, but quickly reconsidered, deciding to follow
her
instead.
The expression on her face looked like someone doing something they know they
shouldn’t
be.
I see that
look all the time on my Kisaragi comrades and in the mirror, so there’s no
doubt about
it.
Continuing
to tail her, Rose eventually began to leave town and arrive at an all too
familiar
location. It was the cave used for the resurrection ritual that brought Grimm
back to life.
There was a
faint glow of a candle from within the cave, as if someone were already
inside.
Then, as Rose stepped into the cave, she called out in a quiet voice, “I
brought the thing
you asked for...”
Of course,
the one to respond to Rose’s call was...
“Thank you.
You did well Rose. Now, you must be hungry, right? Leave the rest to me
and take a
break while you eat this.”
“...Hey,
Grimm. Are you really sure it’s ok to do something like this? I have a feeling
something
terrible is going to happen later...”
Handing the
book to Grimm, Rose received a piece of meat in return, wearing a troubled
expression.
“Honestly,
you worry too much. We’ve known each other for so long, so try to have a
little
faith in me. Have I ever messed up when it comes to something like this?”
As Grimm
placed the book onto the altar, giving a reassuring smile, Rose began to chew
into the
meat with tiny bites.
“I think
there were actually a lot of times you did.”
“Oh, be quiet.
Telling the truth can be hurtful you know. Saying the right thing isn’t
everything.”
“The fact
that you’re saying that already makes it sound like another failure...”
I see.
Judging from what they’re saying, Grimm is about to do something stupid. I
decided to
approach the two of them in the dimly lit cave...
“I saw
that~”
““E-epp!””
My sudden
voice from behind them made the two of them scream in unison. Perhaps
aware they
were doing something wrong, Grimm and Rose turned around nervously...
“Y-you got
it all wrong commander! This isn’t a suspicious ritual or anything!”“I-I was
just asked to bring Grimm this weird book! And when she said I could eat all
the
supopotchi
meat I could want, there was no way I could refuse! I really did try to, I
swear!”
Before
Grimm could form a proper excuse, Rose interrupted her, rambling on quickly.
“Wait just
a minute you traitor! Rose, how could you–weren’t we supposed to be best
friends?”
“If a
friend is headed down the wrong path, it’s your duty to try to stop them.”
The two of
them began to argue loudly, but I’m way more concerned about what was
going to
happen next.
“Hey,
what’s with the book? You weren’t planning to do some dangerous ritual or
something,
were you? If you’re going to do something bad, let me join in too.”
“No, this
isn’t that kind of ritual..! ...Wait, you just said ‘let me join in,’ didn’t
you? Even if
you know
that it’s a dangerous ritual, I don’t think it’s a good idea to want to join
in.”
Grimm said
that wearing a conflicted look, but honestly, evil organizations are basically
just like
cults if you ask me.
...And with
that, Grimm placed the book onto the altar.
“This book
is known as the Krampus transcript. It was unearthed from ancient ruins, and
though
researchers have tried deciphering it, nothing has been solved about the
contents
besides its
title. Rose, being a chimera, is allowed to visit the national research labs as
a part of
her
research. So...”
I thought
over Grimm’s words and said, “So, you lured Rose over here with meat to steal
that book,
huh? Nice one Grimm. I’ve gotta admit, I’m starting to respect you a little
now.”
“It’s not
like that! I’m just borrowing it for a little bit! I’ll return it after I’m
down, so please
don’t look
at me like I’m one of you!”
–A
curse-like voice then echoed throughout the cave.
“Oh, great
Lord Zenarith! Grant this book the form that the emotions within it are meant
to take! If
the will within this book is real, let it return to this mortal realm and grant
us the
wisdom of
the ancients!”
Sitting on
the floor of the cave next to Rose, I watched the eerie ritual unfold...
“?!? I feel
it! I feel like this might actually be something for the first time in a long
time!”
Grimm, who
had just been praying, suddenly let out a shout. At her exclamation, Rose
made a
disgusted face in response.“Both of you, help out! Pray with me! Oh great Lord
Zenarith, Please continue!”
“Great Lord
Zenarith!”
“Lord
Zenarith...”
“Both of
you, louder! Otherwise Lord Zenarith won’t answer!”
Caught up
in the moment, Rose and I continued to chant Lord Zenarith’s name all night
long.
2
The day
after the ritual was performed.
In the end,
despite all the prayers we offered throughout the night, nothing happened.
So, Rose
and I, having been dragged into this, decided to make Grimm pay for our
breakfast
before
going home.
Then, for
some reason, after Alice barged into my room early in the morning without
asking to
do some paperwork as I lazily laid in bed,
“...Alright,
the report on the recent battle is finished. Next is the biological survey
report
for this
planet, but I’ll have you write that one.”
“What are
you talking about? I’m the muscle and you’re the brains, right Alice? That
means
paperwork is your job. So I’m counting on you, partner.”
“You think
you can just get away with anything by calling me partner, don’t you?”
Lately,
Alice has seemed to be in a good mood whenever I call her ‘Partner,’ but I
guess
she’s not
that easy to fool afterall.
“Unlike
you, who has plenty of free time, I’ve got plenty of things to do. Just think
of it as
keeping an
observation journal on any weird creature you come across. I’m counting on
you.”
Alice then
casually dropped documents onto my chest as I laid sprawled out on the bed.
To me, the
very existence of androids like her is pretty weird, but... an observation
journal of
weird creatures living on this planet, huh...
There are
already plenty of magical beasts wandering outside the city, but if I’m going
to
observe
anything, I’d prefer a creature that isn’t going to try and kill me.
With a
weary sigh, I sat up...
<Evil
Points Acquired>“...Huh?”
The
announcement suddenly played in my head. I wonder if someone had tried to use
the gold
plated coin I set up in front of Snow’s room.
“...No,
nevermind.”
I decided
to begin heading towards the creature I had in mind.
________________________________________________________________________-
“Are you
trying to pick a fight with me?!”
“What are
you talking about?”
As Rose,
the weird creature in question, assumed a fighting stance and tried to
intimidate
me, I kept glancing at the skewered meat I had prepared.
“Look,
everytime I finish a report, Alice gives me some spending money. I’ll be sure
to
treat you
well, so just help me out with this.”
“I’ve been
thinking this for a while, but do you really think that if you feed me
something
delicious,
that I’ll go along with whatever you say? I’m still a girl you know. It’s rude
to treat me
like I’m
some sort of weird creature, so please stop doing that.”
At Rose’s
displeased expression, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Maybe treating my
subordinates
as creatures to fill an observation journal was a bit too far.
“Yeah,
you’re right, I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right, it’s not right to try and
lure you with
this
skewered meat here... Let’s just forget this whole thing happened.”
“I’m a
proud humanoid battle chimera who specializes in fighting. Besides, this is
just
skewered
meat. I expect at least some fried mokemoke, mupyokopyoko eggs, farm-raised
organic
orc...”
Spouted the
weird creature in front of me after she snatched the skewered meat and
devoured it
on the spot.
–Month–Day
Observation
Subject A, who while on patrol around town, started a fight with a magical
beast they
encountered.
“Grrrrrrr..!!
Raaaaaah..!!”
“Roarrrr!!!!”In
the wasteland stretching outside of town, the two magical beasts were currently
fighting in
front of me. Facing the deadly hegg, who was currently baring its fangs
threateningly,
Rose
growled back on all fours. She looks like a child trying to scare off a wild
dog, but she
seems like
she’s trying to do her job earnestly.
Putting
aside Rose’s apparence, the deadly hegg must’ve understood the difference in
strength
between them, as it backed away cautiously.
“See that
Boss! The power of a battle chimera! Make sure to write down in your journal
that I’m on
a totally different level than those mutts!”
“This kind
of reminds me of when I saw two stray dogs fight over some territory.”
Rose,
having won the territorial fight, pouted in annoyance.
“Boss, you
sure say some funny things! Alright, why don’t I show you my stray dog
spirit!”
As I dodged
Rose, who was currently throwing herself at me, I heard a howl in the
distance.
It sounded like a howl from the deadly hegg chased away earlier.
“Did you
hear that Boss? That’s the howl of a loser. I’ve never liked those mutts,
always
circling
around town and marking their territory. Now we’ve finally settled who’s
stronger, the
battle
chimera or the deadly hegg!”
The
gloating chimera, though normally calm, was full of vigor. Does its primal blood
surge when
faced with other magical beasts? As I noted this down in my journal,
“Observation
Subject A, victorious in the territorial battle against the dog-like magical
beast,
proudly flaunts their victory with a smug look. Since they don’t act this way
even after
beating
humans, it appears they may be more aligned with beasts than they are with
humanity.”
“Boss,
please don’t write weird things! I’m definitely more human leaning if
anything!”
...And
then, I suddenly realized something. The deadly hegg’s howl has somehow
turned into
multiple howls.
“Hey Rose,
they’re multiplying! Your rivals are increasing!”
“D-don’t
just make me your rival! I’m a proud battle chimera, so being compared to you
mutts is
disrespectful! But since we’re outnumbered, I-I’ll let you off the hook today!”
Leading
Rose, who had evolved from a battle chimera into a sore loser, we escaped
back to
town.
–Month–DayObservation
Subject A was currently napping, sunbathing on the roof of the barracks. At
first
glance, they appear to be slacking off, but for a combat agent, when there’s no
battle,
resting
your body is of utmost importance. Furthermore, since it’s still morning and
relatively
cool
outside, the dormant lizard portion of observation subject A’s body might be
seeking
warmth.
...As I was
writing the report, feeling impressed, an insulting voice from beneath the
barracks
echoed out.
“Hey Rose,
it’s training day, right? I’ve been up since morning working, so why the hell
are you
still sleeping!”
From what
Grimm was shouting out at Rose, it appears that she was in fact just slacking
off.“Ugh...
I stayed up late last night at your meeting, so I’m still sleepy... Besides,
even if
you say
it’s training day, no one’s going to want to fight me anyway...”
Rose rubbed
her eyes like a cat cleaning its face, protesting in a tired voice. She may
look like a
napping child, but even so, being the strongest fighter in the country apart
from me,
Rose
probably can’t find anyone to actually train with her.
“If you
need a training partner, I’ve got one for you right here. Have the Commander,
who’s been
taking photos of you while you sleep, fight with you!”
Grimm is
saying some unnecessary things right now, but I’m just an investigator. I have
no reason
to fight with Rose.
“Eh..? In
training, weapons and lethal force are banned, right? I’ll definitely win if
that’s
the case.
If the Boss doesn’t use any weird weapons, he’s just a regular person...”
.............
“You, the
combat agent trainee, just said something really interesting. You know I’m
Kisaragi’s
longest serving agent, right? I can definitely beat a little chimera with my
own two
hands.”
It’s just a
cheap taunt, but a member of an evil organization should never be looked
down upon.
I tossed the report aside as Rose, peering over from the top of the barracks,
began
to look
down at me.
“...Boss,
do you really think you could win? I was created as a synthetic chimera to
destroy
foolish humans. The only reason I’m not doing that is because I’m able to
restrain my
heart with my
inner chains. Once those chains are broken... Ah, w-wait! Stop it, that’s
cheating!
I’m coming
down now, so please stop throwing rocks at me!”
–Month–Day
The other
day, Observation Subject A, who was pelted with stones while trying to climb
down from
the barracks, causing them to admit defeat without even starting the fight,
started
eating
something random off the ground, so I had to stop them.
“Wait a
second, what are you writing Boss? It’s not eating stuff off the ground! It’s
called
foraging!
Don’t you eat wild berries or nuts when you’re out boss? This is like that!
It’s the same
thing!”
“I think
acorns lying on the side of the road are definitely different from those
things.”As the gluttonous chimera tries to justify eating garbage off the
ground with their own
reason, I
offer them a Calorie-Z bar.
“Sorry, I
didn’t realize you were training so hard. Here, take this, and throw those
acorns
away.”
“Boss, are
you not listening to me at all?!?!?! I’m not eating off the ground! These
acorns from
the trees are
used as payment for orcs working in the farms!”
After
venting her anger, Rose spoke as if scolding a stubborn child.
“Think
about it Boss. For example, chickpeas are a delicacy for unicorns, but they
also
appear on
human dining tables. And these acorns are treats used for the orc soldiers in
the
demon
lord’s army. So don’t you think there’s no difference between humans eating
chickpeas
and me
eating acorns?”
“I’m just
saying don’t eat stuff you find off the ground.”
Even as
Rose tried to defend herself for eating acorns off the ground, she still
grabbed
the
Calorie-Z bar without a moment’s hesitation. Just then, some kids came running
over to her
carrying a
bag of something.
“Ms.
Chimera lady, we collected the acorns–do the thing!”
“Here,
there are the sweet potatoes I want you to roast! Is this enough for you to
roast
them?”
It appeared
that the bag they handed over was full of sweet potatoes and a bunch of
acorns.
“W-wait a
second! I’m kinda busy today, so maybe another time..! Boss, this isn’t what it
looks like.
I’m doing this to help poor families save money on fire stones. I mean, if I
just started
giving away
fire for free, the people paying for the stones would go ‘hey, that’s not
fair,’ right? So
instead I,
sort of... accept these acorns as compensation...”
Faced with
the bag offered to her, Rose backed away, face full of embarrassment.
“I really
thought you were the only sane person in our squad...”
“W-wait,
hold on! I am supposed to be the sane one!”
3
Aftering
finishing that report, I started aimlessly wandering the streets looking for a
second
subject to observe, when I came across a handkerchief in the corner of a park.
Thehandkerchief I picked up had the owner’s name and contact information
written on it, neatly no
less.
........
“What the
hell are you doing over there.”
“I was
keeping an eye on it to see if some handsome, kind gentleman would pick it up
and return
it to me. It was the perfect set up to meet someone–why did you, Commander,
have
to be the
one to find it?”
Grimm,
pouting, peeked around a corner and voiced her annoyance. Turns out, this
handkerchief
I picked up was just a trap set by this hopelessly single woman.
“I used to
wait around corners hoping to bump into a girl for a chance encounter too, but
I had to
stop after getting complaints from everyone. You should quit doing stuff that
is going to
bother
people too.”
“Wait a
second–are you saying I was doing the same tactic as you, Commander? F-fine,
I’ll give
up on this whole handkerchief plan and look for some other way to meet someone.
I
mean it,
seriously...”
Then, with
a embarrassed face, Grimm began to fidget shyly as she,
“Hey,
Commander, would you happen to be free tonight? If you’d like...how about
spending
the evening having a nice time with me?”
It has been
some time since we’ve defeated Galdahand, one of the demon lord’s elite
four, and
signed a ceasefire treaty with their army–but something has been on my mind
ever
since then.
I saved this entire country, so why haven’t I had a single romantic event happen
to
me yet?
“Well, it
can’t be helped. Since it’s a request from my cute subordinate, even if I’m not
free, I’ll
make time. I’ll go on and take a bath and get all cleaned up for you.”
“I think
this’ll be an issue later on if you misunderstand me, so I’ll clear it up now,
ok?
Sorry, but
this isn’t some kind of sexual invitation... Hey, Commander! It’s a bit much to
jump to
conclusions
and then suddenly lose interest!”
Having
suddenly lost interest in that conversation, I started my search again looking
for a
subject to
observe for my rare creature report, when Grimm shoved a piece of paper in my
face.
“Here, take
this. Tonight, I’m making an exception and allowing outsiders to join. I
already
asked you before, but there are going to be some beautiful people there, you
know?”At Grimm’s words, accompanied with a smile, I turned my eyes to the piece
of paper she
handed me—
–Month–Day
I thought
it was going to be an invitation to another suspicious ritual, but the event
she
invited me
to was actually a gathering of the Zenarith church. According to Rose, who
unlike me
was dragged
there, anyone can join at any time, even if they’re not a believer.
I wondered
what those words meant–’Tonight, I’m making an exception and allowing
outsiders
to join’ – but since the goal was to meet ‘beautiful people,’ I decided to wait
a while.
When no one
showed up except Rose and Grimm, no matter how much time had
passed, I
asked her about it, to which she responded smugly, ‘The beautiful one is me!’
So, I
earned some
evil points until she was crying and apologizing, but by then, the night had
passed.
...And
then, seeing Grimm crying and screaming because the sun was too bright in the
morning, I
realized that she’s a half-undead weird creature, and decided to make her
‘Subject B’
for my
observation. When I asked if I could observe her closely everyday from now on,
for some
reason she
agreed with a blush across her face.
It’s a bit
annoying to be poked and prodded by her while she’s all embarrassed, but now
that I have
her permission, I’ll probably make good progress on my weird creature report.
Rose looked
like she wanted to say something to me, but I’m looking forward to this
observation
starting tomorrow.
–Month–Day
When I
showed up to the castle’s training grounds, Observation Subject B was lying on
the ground
with dead fish-like eyes. Since no one has said anything about Observation
Subject
B, this
appears to be a game where you pretend to be a fish that has washed up on land,
flopping
around on the ground.
As I was
snapping pictures of the subject lying there, Grimm–who hadn’t moved an inch
until
then–suddenly stood up and began lashing out at me.
“Hey,
Commander, hold it right there! Your adorable and sweet subordinate is laying
on
the brink
of death, and you’re just taking photos?! I mean, sure– I get the urge to want
to
photograph
a beautiful woman lying down, who wouldn’t? But come on, there’s an order to
these kinds
of things! First provide aid, then care, and then you flirt and take your sweet
time,
got
it?!”Grimm, who had suddenly launched into that rant at lightning speed,
quickly glanced
around the
area.
“And more
importantly, after putting me through all this, where did that brat run off
to?!”
Apparently,
Observation Subject B had been roped into Observation Subject A’s training
and ended
up getting knocked out. As proof, Rose was peeking out from behind the barracks
connected
to the training grounds, her arms full of acorns.
Maybe...
those acorns were meant as a get well gift?
“Still, I’m
surprised that Grimm–the biggest deadweight in our squad–was even training
with Rose
in the first place.”
“Did you
just call me deadweight?! I won’t let that slide! ...But hey, it’s not my
fault–hardly
anyone can go toe-to-toe with her and come out in one piece. Just you or me
really.”
Can we
really count flopping around like a fish washed up on land ‘coming out in one
piece’?
Still, I can’t help but wonder–just a little–why Subjects A and B get along so
well
together.
–Month–Day
For some
reason, when I went to the training grounds, Observation Subjects A and B
were in the
middle of a serious battle.
“Sink into
the sea of my blazing inferno! Sleep forever, Crimson Breath!”
“Great Lord
Zenarith, bring disaster upon this thieving chimera! Let it be engulfed in your
breath!”
After
exiting the training grounds, I grabbed a nearby knight to get a better idea of
the
battle
scene before me.
“Hey, what
the heck are those two doing? I heard something about a ‘thieving
chimera’–did
Rose pull some kind of stealing stunt?”
“Well,
um... Apparently it’s because Grimm had her eyes set on the new knight, and the
fact that
they were getting along with Rose seems to be the cause...”
The two of
them seemed so close yesterday, but by tomorrow, they’re at each other's
throats.
Friendship between women is more fragile than tofu in the face of romance.
In front of
me and the knight, the fierce battle raged on.“He’s always so physically
intimate with me, there’s no way he’s not in love with me! I
mean, we’re
way too close for members of the opposite sex, you know? So even if it’s you
Rose, I
won’t forgive anyone who tries to come between us! Just admit that you were in
the
wrong
already! Otherwise, I’ll curse all your meals to stop tasting good!”
“I’m not
the one in the wrong here! And I only ate the leftovers because you said I
could!
This is the
reason that you’re going to be single forever!”
“Oh, you
really said something you shouldn't have!!
It’s a
fierce battle over someone of the opposite sex. I fear their friendship will
likely
never recover
from this day forward.
...Wait,
how come no one in my squad sees me this way...
–Month–Day
Despite
having such a big fight yesterday, Observation Subjects A and B were happily
talking
together in the castle’s dining hall.
“Here you
go Rose–You can have this sandwich too. You like meat, right? I thought to be
a little
fancy today and used some organic orc meat.”
“Yay! I
love you Grimm! Right after organic orc meat, you’re my favorite! As thanks,
you
can have
some of my acorns!”
Wondering
what yesterday’s fight was all about, I asked a passing soldier. Apparently,
the guy
Grimm was fighting over turned out to be a cool, boyish lady knight who just
happened
to prefer
women.
“Fufu,
thank you Rose, but I don’t need the acorns. They’re your favorite, right?”
“No way
Grimm, that won’t make things even between us. I’m giving them to you.”
“No,
really, just the thought is enough, ok? You really don’t need to go out of your
way
and start
roasting them in front of me... Hey, Rose, are you still a little mad?”
Whether
they’re getting along or not, Observation Subjects A and B, who are currently
pushing
acorns back and forth to each other, from a distance could almost be mistaken
to be
sisters.
4
Having
finished my report on the two weird creatures, I felt a sense of accomplishment
from
completing my task, and decided to relax at the hideout as a reward.“Hey Six,
could you come do something for me?”
As Alice
entered the room, I handed her the completed report saying,
‘I just
finished my biological survey, and you already need my help again? Well, I've
investigated
some of the most interesting creatures in the country, probably the two most
interesting
ones too.”
“...It’s
certainly an interesting report, but are you really planning to submit this to
the
supreme
leaders?”
Muttered
Alice as she looked at the report, her expression oddly nuanced for an android.
“By the
way, what did you need help with? I’m feeling pretty confident after this last
report. If
you want, I could even take on some undercover work in the night district.”
“That kind
of work isn’t necessary. Your job is just to fight. No, wait...”
Alice
fluttered the stack of paper in her hand.
“We’ll just
leave this as is.”
–According
to Alice, there has been a series of strange creature sightings in town
recently.
It’s said to be a creature with goat-like horns and teeth, walking on two legs,
swinging
around what
seems to be a chain-like weapon.
“Could it
be just some delinquent demon soldier who got lost and wandered into town?”
“I thought
so too, but according to Snow, if there was a soldier with such flashy traits,
they’d be
well known by now.”
When I
arrived at the barracks to pick up my squad, it seemed that they had already
gathered.
Snow, unusually high spirited, was currently giving a pep talk to Grimm and
Rose,
who were
currently sitting down in a seiza position.
“Listen up
you guys! According to this analysis report from our top researcher, the target
we’re after
this time could be pretty formidable! In other words, taking it down is going
to be a
pretty
major achievement...
Upon
noticing me and Alice, Snow’s eyes shined even brighter with excitement.
“Six! I’ve
been waiting for you! Don’t worry, with you and me together, this monster will
be a piece
of cake!”
“Didn’t you
just tell Grimm and Rose that we’re going to be fighting a pretty formidable
opponent?”While
Snow, dreaming at the prospect of rewards and achievements, was off in her own
world, I
sat down next to Rose and Grimm.
“I heard
the story, Apparently some weird creature has been wandering around town,
right?”
“Yes, and
thanks to that, Snow’s been all fired up and it’s been a real hassle. We don’t
even know
what we’re up against yet...”
“From what
I heard from Ms. Snow, it doesn’t sound like the kind of monster we can just
eat...”
Snow aside,
it doesn’t really seem like these two are that motivated.
Well, to be
honest, I’m not too keen on dealing with some random creature that has been
popping up
around town either...
“Hey Snow,
we don’t even know who the enemy is yet, but you’re all fired up today.”
“Oh, Alice,
I actually got some information on the beast through some of my connections.
I know the
name, but I don’t have any details on their abilities or anything like that.
But with you
guys
around, I’m sure we’ll manage.”
Hearing her
words, Grimm and Rose’s already low enthusiasm dropped further.
“Oh? You
know its name? In that case, you should be able to figure out other details
too.”
“N-no, all
we know is that the creature’s name is Krampus. The information comes from
an old book
found in an ancient ruin. According to the researcher, the book hasn’t been
fully
examined
yet...”
And then,
at that moment, Grimm and Rose, who had been ignoring Snow and Alice’s
conversation,
suddenly started trembling for some reason.
“What’s
wrong with you too? If you need to pee, you better go now.”
“No that’s
not it! Didn’t you just hear the name she said Boss?? The beast Ms. Snow
mentioned,
Krampus...”
Just as
Rose was about to say more, she was gently silenced by Grimm’s hand. Grimm
then
flashed a soft, sweet smile.“Hey Rose, did you know words have power? It’s
called ‘Kotodama,’ where the words
you speak
can become reality. What we’re about to do is simple. We’re just heading out to
defeat this
mysterious beast called Krampus, and that’s all there is to it.”
(TN:
Kotodama is the belief that mystical powers reside in names)
Despite
saying that with a calm expression, Grimm was dripping in sweat. Looking at
her, I
suddenly remembered the ritual in the cave.
Come to think
of it, the title of the book Grimm offered her prayers to back in the cave
was...
“...Hey,
Rose, Commander, don’t you two think the words ‘our little secret’ sound really
nice? We’re
the ones that prayed together, so we’ll always be best friends, right?”
“I love the
word ‘secret!’ After all, I’m a member of a secret evil organization!”
“Ahhhh,
what should I do, what should I do..? Being with the Boss and Grimm, I feel
like
I’m going
to keep doing bad things from now on...”
While Rose
crouched down, holding her head in distress, Grimm and I stood up.
“Alright,
let’s go everyone! I don’t know if it’s Krampus or whatever, but with lord
Zenarith’s
power, I’ll seal its existence away!”
“Let’s go
you guys! Monster hunting! Let’s show them just how strong we are!”
Turning my
gaze away from Snow and Alice, I set off towards the city of Grace!
5
In the cave
at the site of the ritual.
We tracked
down the mystical creature, and after a fierce battle, managed to drive it out
of town.
Since there’s
still a chance that the monster is still lurking around the area, Rose and I
were
brought to the cave to serve as guards. In the center of the magic circle drawn
on the altar,
an ancient
book was placed–so old that even the title couldn’t be read. Grimm has been
offering
the book
prayers for a while now.
Rose and I
watched Grimm from a distance.
“Hey, Rose,
isn’t your best friend doing something dangerous again? Shouldn’t you try
and stop
her?”
“Well,
Grimm wouldn’t listen even if I tried to stop her. But don’t worry, even if she
does
succeed in
summoning something, it’ll just be her who ends up in trouble.”Maybe she
overheard our conversation, because Grimm then turned around with an
annoyed
expression.
“I’ve been
thinking about this for a while now, but you can really spit some serious
venom
sometimes. But you know what Rose? Tonight I’m different, ok? After all,
tonight, I have
two
followers watching over me. Lord Zenarith should be putting in some extra
effort too.”
“Hey, don’t
make me one of your followers without asking! I’m a proud member of the
boob cult!”
“I don’t
remember joining the Zenarith cult either?!”
Ignoring
our protests, Grimm placed her hand upon the book on the altar.
“By the
way, I’ve been thinking since the last ritual, but what exactly is your goal?
Are
you trying
to summon some kind of weird evil magic thing to have your wishes granted?”
In response
to my question, Grimm gave me a faint smile.
“Isn’t it
obvious? It’s to help grant Rose’s wish.”
“Eh?!
Me?!?!”
In contrast
to the confident Grimm, Rose let out a confused cry. As Rose and I were both
frozen in
response to Grimm’s unexpected answer,
“Why are
you surprised too Rose? Try remembering why you became a soldier in the
first
place, will you?”
As Grimm
said that with a soft chuckle,
“U-umm, to
eat delicious food until I’m full... N-no, just kidding! Sorry, that was a
mistake!
Umm... Then, to rid the world of foolish humans...”
“You became
a soldier in this country to learn about your origins, didn’t you? You’re here
so you can
be told the results of the research based on the relics excavated from the
ruins!”
Prompted by
Grimm’s remark, Rose suddenly looked as if something had dawned on
her.
“That’s
right! ...W-wait, Boss, please don’t look at me like I’m some poor pitiful child!”
That’s
right, she might seem like a level-headed person at first glance, but she’s
really
just a
muscle head like me. As I looked at the fool in front of me with a pitying
gaze, Grimm
spoke up
with an exasperated tone.“Honestly, this one... The purpose of the ritual is to
use the relics excavated from the
ancient
ruins to summon someone possibly connected to Rose. Though sometimes strange
things get
summoned instead.”
“Someone
connected to me..? Could it be...”
Grimm then,
with a joyful expression, declared to me, one who isn’t very fond of ghosts,
“Yes,
that’s right! I am Grimm Grimoire, Archbishop of the great Lord Zenarith, he
who
governs
immortality and calamity! With a relic imbued with emotion, summoning a ghost
is but a
simple
task!”
Grimm is usually
such a burden, harassing couples, being troublesome, hard to take
anywhere,
and just generally a hassle, but...
“Wait a
minute! All those times Grimm has been summoning weird things and being
scolded for
it... was all for my sake?!”
“Hehe, a woman
has her secrets, you know. But let me make myself clear, this isn’t all
just for
Rose. I have other goals too, so don’t think I’m doing this out of some sense
of
obligation.”
Grimm
smiled as she said that. Rose, with a shaky voice, then continued to ask.
“Does that
mean that all the times Grimm warned me about things, like saying ‘you
should stay
away from that man, he has a flirty aura around him’...?”
“Yep,
that’s right. According to my fortune telling, I saw a future where you got
taken
advantage of.
But we’re best friends, so I don’t plan on making you feel indebted.”
Grimm
quickly answered with a voice more strained than even Rose’s before quickly
brushing it
aside.
“Hey,
Commander, what do you think? Have you begun to start seeing me in a different
light?”
As Rose
began to hug Grimm tightly, Grimm gently held her while I replied in a teasing
tone,
“Yeah, if
you were like this all the time, I might accidentally fall for you.”
“Don’t say
things like that so casually to a girl of marriageable age! What will you do if
I
fall for
you? Will you take responsibility? Just look at my face, it’s all red
now!”Grimm, who has just been given a small compliment, pretended to be
embarrassed and
said
something stupid, but it’d be rude to mention that the reason her face is all
red is because
Rose is
hugging her.
“Come on,
stop clinging to me and offer your prayers too! The mysterious ancient text,
the
Necronomicon, which no one knows where it came from, is what we’re using for
this ritual!
My
instincts as the archbishop are telling me that something is definitely going
to happen
tonight!”
I wonder
what the Necronomicon is. I feel like I’ve heard that name before, and I’m not
even that
familiar with the occult.
“Ouch!
Rose, why did you bite me?!”
“A gentle
bite is just a chimera’s way of showing affection.”
While I was
still hung up on my doubts, it appears that Grimm’s prayer had finally
reached its
climax.
“Come now!
Pray! Offer yourself and chant the name of the great Lord Zenarith!”
Perhaps to
cover her embarrassment, Grimm called out in a loud voice. I can’t help but
feel that
something terrible is about to happen...
Still
blushing, the archbishop spreads her arms out wide.
“O great
Lord Zenarith! Grant form to the passions dwelling within this tomb! If the
will
within this
book is real, let it return to this mortal realm and grant us the wisdom of the
ancients!”
Clinging to
her best friend, she offered up her prayer in a resounding voice–!
When the
news of the Tower of Duster’s capture was heard by the citizens, their moods
brightened.
Merchants began a sale and despite the fact that it was only noon, everyone
tilted
their
glasses up in celebration.
It was
almost as if a festival had arrived.
Of course,
there were some bad people who tried to take advantage of the festivities.
For
example—
“Hey, hey,
watch where you’re goin miss!”
A woman
walking with a cup of juice in hand had suddenly bumped into a man.
“Wh-what
are you talking about? You’re clearly the one who bumped into me!
Yep, just
as she said, it was actually the man who bumped into her.
“Look at
me! I’m all covered in juice now!”
Of course,
the man was me. Whenever I wasn’t deployed on a mission, I was diligently
and
steadily racking up evil points.
“Hey,
Alice, grab this woman! She just dumped juice all over me and now she’s acting
like it’s
no big deal! If I stay covered in juice like this, I’ll catch a cold!”
“This is
awful, your best outfit is ruined... Hey, No. 6, stay back! You smell like a
beast!”
I then
decided to sniff my uniform at Alice’s remark...
“Ugh, What
did you just pour on me?! Alice, do something about this!”
“Well,
can’t be helped. I’ll get some deodorant.”
While I was
spraying myself with the deodorant, the woman slowly began backing away.
“W-wait..!
It’s not my fault...! That's right, that woman who stole my lover is the one to
blame!
She’s just a woman with a big chest, good at housework, kind, thoughtful, and
only
pretty—nothing
more!"
“Hey! Don’t
try to play the victim card and run away after causing this mess! This
smell–This
isn’t juice, is it! What the hell were you planning to do with this?!”
“Hey, No.
6, stay still, otherwise the smell is going to stick to you.”As we watched the
fleeting woman disappear, Alice continued wiping down my combat
uniform.
“What’s
with all this commotion?!... Oh, it’s you... I’ll hear your story at the
knight’s
station.
Come on, follow quietly.”
“You
suddenly showed up out of nowhere— Wait, where do you plan on taking me?! I’m
the victim
this time! Go after the woman who ran off!”
Was she
patrolling the city? Regardless, Snow suddenly appeared out of nowhere and
grabbed my
arm—
———————————————————————
“It seems
like you were doused with goblin juice, and because you ran into it yourself to
actually
get it on you, so you can’t be charged with anything.”
“Hey, what
the hell is goblin juice!?”
As I was
being taken to the knight’s station, I finally managed to clear up Snow’s
misunderstanding...
“When you
boil goblins, you get a very strong, pungent, and irritating liquid. It can be
used to
repel magical beasts or thrown at sharp-nosed orcs to make them recoil in
pain—there
are various
uses for it. It was created as a result of trying to find a way to make goblins
edible,
be it by
boiling or roasting them. In the end, goblins just had such a strong stench
that they were
completely
inedible...”
“...I have
to say, your willingness to try to eat anything humanoid is seriously
impressive...
Actually, I think I just figured out what that woman was planning to do with
the
goblin juice
when she threw it at me.”
“Well,
anyway, this was all caused by that woman. Now that you understand, hurry up
and let me
go.”
Being the
very clear victim in this situation, I urged Snow to let me go.
“I’ll put a
warrant out for that woman, just to be safe, sure... But from what you just
explained
to me, you guys were just walking around the city with too much free time on
your
hands,
right? In that case, I have the perfect job for a thug like you.”
Snow, as if
having found some extra manpower, flashed a dark smile.
2Despite
being the middle of the day, the interior of the shop we entered was dimly lit,
the
strong
smell of alcohol and tobacco stinging my nose. As I looked around, I noticed
some
people who
looked like they were all a part of the same line of work, grinning and
smirking at me
like they
found something amusing.
Well, their
gazes were actually focused on Alice. It seems that in a rough place like this,
a loli-like
android was a bit out of place.
I walked up
to the front counter, flashing a villainous smile, and asked,
“A strong
drink please. And some dried meat as a snack.”
“Sure kid,
but before you order, you might wanna stop your little lady over there.”
I turned
around hearing the shopkeeper's words, only to see Alice pointing her shotgun
at one of
the customers.
“What the
hell are you doing? This is supposed to be my job.”
“This guy
grabbed my ass. According to Kisaragi policy, any bastard who touches a child
needs to be
executed.”
He
shouldn’t really know what a shotgun is, but maybe sensing the inherent danger
from
the
‘Chak-Chak’ sound, the young man who had a shotgun barrel pointed to his head
had his
hands
raised.
“I see.
Guess it can’t be helped in this case. A lolicon who actually acts on their
desires
deserves to
be executed.”
“Yep,
that's how it is. Excuse me while I go outside and execute him. Oi! Keep your
hands on
your head and stand up! How many children have you laid your hands on up until
now? I'm
gonna kill you and feed you to the beasts!”
“W-wait! It
was just a joke! I was just messing around! I’ve never laid hands on a small
child
before! H-hey, you guys, help me!”
As the
child molester, threatened by Alice, began to scream, other customers in the
shop
began to
stand up.
“Time for
your beating, bastard!”
“Hrggh??!!”
Before the
other customers could join in and support him, I landed a surprise punch on
the
toughest looking guy nearby. Then, as Alice kept the barrel pointed at him, she
restrainedthe molester she had taken hostage, while the others kicked back
their seats and showed signs
of joining
in against us.
“H-hey, you
bastards! Do you even know who we are?! Do you really think you can take
on this
many of us and still win?!”
“You better
put down that strange weapon! Everyone here knows how to fight! If you
wanna start
trouble, don’t expect to leave here alive!”
As the men
shouted their cliche lines, Alice fired her shotgun into the ceiling. When the
fragments
of the ceiling fell to the floor, the entire shop fell into stunned silence.
With another
‘chak-chak’ sound from her shotgun, Alice pointed the barrel at the nearest
man and
said,
“No. 6,
there are some explosives in my backpack – go and take them out. These guys
don’t seem
willing to let us leave her alive. In that case, we might as well blow
ourselves up and
take them
with us.”
“Hey Alice!
Don’t go choosing self destruction so quickly! We got a ton more options!”
“E-explosives?
What the hell?! Look at the kid’s eyes – she’s serious! This brat really
means it!”
“Her
companion’s reaction next to her doesn’t look like an act! He’s sweating like
crazy!”
The man
with the shotgun barrel pointed to him was sweating profusely, yet he seemed
to be
looking for an opportunity to fight back, exchanging glances with his friends
in the shop.
It was in
that moment that the entrance door swung open, and a voice filled with
exasperation
echoed throughout the room.
“Hey, hey,
what the hell is all the commotion about?”
The man who
entered the shop was a large figure, sporting a noticeable scar on his
nose. At
his arrival, the thugs in the shop all tensed up.
“Gilbert-san!
T-this is... T-these two..!”
____________________________________________
After
listening to the situation, the large man scratched his head and let out a
heavy
sigh.
Judging by everyone’s reactions, he seems to be the big shot around here.
“... So in
short, you guys messed with these two, and then they suddenly pulled out
weapons and
began starting chaos, bringing things to the brink of a fight. And your side of
the
story is..?”“Our
Alice was harassed by that guy. In the organization I’m from, sexual crimes
against
children
are punishable by death. When I tried to carry out the sentence, the people in
this shop
interfered.”
“W-wait a
minute! It wasn’t even that big of a deal! I barely even touched her butt!
Besides, it
felt kinda hard and cold!”
In response
to the man arguing back, I grabbed him by the collar and yanked him in
close.
“Haaaah?!?!?!?
Whether it was just a touch or not doesn’t matter anymore! The real
problem here
is that you’re a hardcore lolicon, you bastard! Oi, oi, are all you guys here
lolicons
too? You’re
villains, but at least you have the pride not to lay hands on children, right?
Hey!
Does this
lolicon have any friends here????”
“W-what..?
I-I’m not a lolicon or anything..!”
The man
looked at his friends for help, but not wanting to be labeled as fellow
lolicons,
none of
them met his desperate gaze.
As the man
faltered, on the verge of tears, I began to press him further.
“Thanks to
you, our dear and precious Alice has suffered a deep emotional wound! How
do you plan
on taking responsibility for this, huh?!!”
“Oh yeah,
I’m super traumatized. Pay up for the touching and emotional damages.”
“W-what?
But I...”
As we
pressed the man further, Gilbert gave a wry smile and spoke.
“Hey, how
about letting him off the hook this time. It seems my subordinate was out of
line. I’ll
cover the bill for this place, how does that sound?”
“T-that’s
not fair! Look at Ricordo over here! He got punched as if it an afterthought
and
still
hasn’t gotten up!”
“Gilbert-san,
if we let this slide, it’ll set a bad example!”
The thugs
began raising their voices at the large man’s proposal. However, with a single
glance
around the room, he silenced them.
“Tell me
again how this fight started! You tried to mess with a kid for fun and got hit
for it?
And now you
wanna gang up for revenge? Gimme a break – Have some shame!”After his quick
lecture, the thugs awkwardly averted their gazes. Now finished scolding
them, the
large man turned to face us, his expression shifting into a smile.
“I’m so
sorry about all that. Could you please let this be, for my sake?”
At his
words, me and Alice exchanged glances and nodded at one another. Seeing this,
the large
man grinned in amusement before shouting at the shopkeeper.
“Hey! Bring
out my special stash!”
In
response, the shopkeeper brought over a very pricey looking bottle of alcohol
along
with two
glasses. The large man then poured the drink into both glasses before smirking,
picking it
up, raising it, and—
“Now, let’s
start making up. This stuff isn’t the kind of liquor you’d usually find in a
cheap
place like
this, but I had some strings pulled to keep it stocked here. Consider it as my
way of
apologizing.”
“You think
you can fool us with that? The hell are you on about?”
“Yeah, like
a single glass of cheap booze is enough to cover your ass, idiot.”
The shop
quickly fell into complete silence. Still holding his glass high with his grin,
a
vein began
to bulge on the large man’s temple. He gave off this air of authority, but we
had no
reason to
follow along.
Suppressing
his anger, he set down the glass and then...
“...Hey,
don’t push your luck. I showed you some courtesy. If this is how you wanna play
it,
then...”
“Let’s do
this Alice!”
“You got it!”
Not letting
the large man finish his sentence, we lunged at him without hesitation.
3
The Next
Day...
“No. 6-san,
are you still sleeping? It’s noon already– time to get up!”
As I was
sleeping peacefully, an unfamiliar voice accompanied by a knock on the door
woke me up.
I threw off my blanket and sat up, only to find Alice lying next to me for some
reason.“...What
the hell are you doing in my bed?”
“As you can
see, I’m being smart and considerate. I figured I’d let you experience one of
those ‘morning
after’ experiences.”
I yanked
the bedsheet up, sending Alice tumbling to the floor. There wasn’t any ‘morning
after’
nonsense. Alice didn’t even have those kinds of functions. Besides, unlike me,
someone
who sleeps
naked, she still had her dress on.
“Hey! What
the hell do you think you’re doing to the beautiful girl who spent the night
with you,
you bastard?”
“We just
slept in the same bed! Try saying that again when you upgrade yourself to a
more
‘adult’ version!”
You don’t
even need sleep in the first place. Compared to when we first met, Alice has
started
acting a bit strange and more human-like. Maybe the harsh environment of this
world
has finally
started making her glitch out.
“We went on
a rampage yesterday. There’s no telling when someone could jump us, so
it’s better
to stick together in the same room. Anyway, that guy’s waiting outside. Hurry
up and
put your
clothes on—and your damn underwear.”
“Yeah,
yeah, I got it. But just because you’re an android doesn’t mean you can stare,
you
perv. Hey,
grab my black shirt for me.”
After
getting dressed, Alice and I stepped outside to find the large man–our
so-called
‘caretaker’–standing
there with a look that told me he had something to say.
“...Yesterday
you were calling my boys lolicons and all that, but aren’t you the real creep
here, No.
6-san...?”
I threw
another punch at the sulking large man just as I did yesterday.
______
Yesterday,
after silencing the big man in front of me–who had basically turned into some
sort of
mini-boss– with my sheer strength, I went on to thrash the rest of the now
riled-up thugs.
I continued
to beat them all down until they understood their place. After that, I ended up
staying
the night
in the inn on the second floor, but now...
““““Good
morning, No. 6-san! Good morning, Alice-san!””””As we descended the stairs, we
were greeted by the thugs in unison.
“Mhm, yes
good morning everyone. I’m glad to see you’re all doing well. Now then, let’s
begin the
morning assembly!”
As I made
my declaration with my greeting, the thugs before me straightened their
backs.
Watching this unfold, Alice gave us an exasperated look and said,
“We aren’t
doing a morning assembly. What we’re starting now is the education of these
low-level
thugs.”
That’s
right. Alice and I had become these thugs’ bosses.
“Alice,
Kisaragi is a black company, so we have to have our morning assemblies. We
have to
drone on with boring speeches and then yell at anyone who isn’t taking notes.”
“Save that
pointless crap for later. Don’t forget the reason we even came here.”
As we sat
down exchanging words, the large man who until yesterday had been their
boss,
straightened his back and spoke.
“No.6-san,
Alice-san, let me introduce myself once more. My name is Gilbert Steiner.
You can
call me Gilbert or Steiner, whichever you’d prefer...”
“What do
you mean ‘Gilbert Steiner?’ That’s a ridiculously grand name. My name is just
a number,
y’know. From now on, you’re Pierre.”
“Hi Pierre,
nice to meet you.”
Pierre’s
cheek twitched slightly, but he seemed to hold himself back with great effort.
“I-I got
it... From today forward, I’m Pierre. So, No. 6-san, we’ve technically become
your
underlings,
but what exactly do you want us to do..?”
This time
around, the job Snow gave us was to crack down on a criminal group known
as the Dark
Guild. From our perspective, as an evil organization, these guys were basically
our
business
rivals. For now, the plan is to infiltrate their ranks. If they turn out to be
pathetic, then
we’ll
capture them on the spot, but if they show promise, then we’ll recruit them as
low-ranking
members...
“Hmm, let’s
start with this. First, I’ll explain why I took you guys down in the first
place.
We are,
well... to put it simply, in the same line of work–basically, we’re business
rivals. So, as a
little
greeting, we decided to show you our strength and make sure you understood the
hierarchy.”“I-I
see... Well, we do only follow those who are stronger than us. So, does that
mean
you’re
going to be running this guild from now on?”
Pierre,
despite being a former leader of a dark guild, was surprisingly quick to accept
this
change in
management. Normally, guys like him would be more reluctant to give up their
power...
Noticing my
suspicious gaze, Pierre put on a wry smile and said—
“Oh, are
you worried because things are running a bit too smoothly? Well, to be honest,
our guild
has been running in the red for quite some time now thanks to the Grace
kingdom’s
string of
defeats. We were actually planning on disbanding soon, but...”
I didn’t
come to another planet to hear such a bleak story. Technically, I was tasked
with
cracking
down on the dark guild, but seeing fellow tradesmen left out in the cold was
hard to
watch.
However, we
are the Kisaragi organization–The organization that rose to become the
most
powerful organization on the Earth.
“If that’s
the case, then don’t worry. Alice here may be only good for her brains, but
she’ll
find a way
to deal with the deficit.”
“I’m a
little annoyed at the ‘only good for her brains’ part, but whatever–just leave
it to
me. I’ll
turn you guys into proper agents and make this the top organization in the
country.”
Seeing our
confidence, the thugs’ expressions gradually brightened. With my hands
behind my
back, I looked at the men lined up before me and—
“Alright
Pierre! First, tell me what’s your line of work!”
“Yes sir!
Our job is to act as mercenaries during times of war and to fight the demons!”
A bit
dissatisfied with such an ordinary answer, I let my disappointment show.
“You guys
have other things to do during times of peace, right? How do you make a
living
during peacetime?”
Right now,
they have work because of the war with demons. But if all they rely on to
make a
living, then they’ll be useless when that war comes to an end. Their main job
is only
fighting...
Wait a
minute—thinking about it, even though we make our living by doing crimes, our
lower
ranked combatant agents are in the same boat. Once we achieve world domination,
they’ll
be out of a
job too.Maybe these guys aren’t so different from us afterall.
As I found
myself relating to their situation, Pierre, who has been silent, finally spoke
up–
“When
there’s no war, we drink and sleep in, or mix in with the orc’s farms and help
with
the
fields.”
“...? The
term orc farm sounds a bit concerning, but I’m guessing you also make some
extra cash
by hunting magical beasts, as a part of local trade in this country, right?”
Yeah, this
world has magical beasts. So naturally, that means there must be those who
make a
living by hunting them—the number one dream job for anyone living in a world
like
this:Adventurers.
That means there should also be an adventurers guild managing them, which
could make
them our competition, but...
“...There
aren’t any weirdos running around here hunting magical beasts. How would
that make
anyone some extra cash?”
...huh?
“Wait, in a
world like this, hunting large magical beasts isn’t profitable? If not, then
who
the hell
takes care of the ones outside the city?”
“Wouldn’t
that just be the job of the soldiers and knights..?”
...
“Quit
messing around! That kind of stuff is usually left for adventurers! You know,
things
like
venturing into the forest to collect magical herbs or hunting magical beasts
with large
bounties on
their heads!”
“The forest
belongs to the barbarians, and as for magical beasts, we only bother with
them when
we need meat. There’s just no real money in it, so getting injured over
something
like that
isn’t worth it. Besides...”
With that,
Pierre turned to me as I continued to press him and said—
“What’s an
adventurer?”
He just
said something that shattered the very foundation of this world’s existence.
“...You
don’t know what an adventurer is?”
“No, I have
no idea.”
Adventurers.As
I pressed this point, I couldn’t help but think–they’re supposed to be the
go-to,
quintessential
profession in any fantasy world.
“What do
you mean you don’t know what an adventurer is?! Then what the hell does this
guild even
do?!”
“We’re a
place that sends people to go and fight...”
As Peirre,
feeling pressured, dutifully answered my questions, Alice lightly poked me on
my
shoulder,
“Hey, No.
6, don’t forget our original goal. What were you even going to have these guy
do?”
“But these
guys don’t even know what adventurers are! A fantasy world without
adventurers?!
This planet is totally worthless!”
I was
absolutely certain that because this is a fantasy world, there had to be
something
like an
adventurers’ guild. Even though I’m currently working as a hired knight, I had
always
admired
adventurers.
“You sure
do have a weird habit getting fixed on pointless things like heroes, knights,
and
adventurers. More importantly, shouldn’t you be figuring out how to take care
of these guys
and bring
them into kisaragi?”
That’s
right–I got side tracked by the realization that there were no adventurers, but
that’s not
the point. As Pierre and the others gave us puzzled looks, Alice spoke up.
“It’ll be
faster to show you than to explain it. All of you, arm yourselves immediately!
I’ll
teach you
how to make money the way only real ruffians can!”
–——
In the
dining district of the town of Grace, there was a suspicious woman wearing a
hooded
robe. On the table in front of her sat a small crystal ball, making it clear
that she was a
fortune
teller. As many people passed without stopping, a hesitant voice finally spoke
up.
“G-good
evening miss!”
The one who
had called out to the fortune teller was a young girl with horns and a tail.
“Oh my,
well well... If I recall correctly, you’re the young lady who I gave a charm to
the
other day.
Well? Did it work for you?”“Y-yes! Thanks to that charm, my work has been going
well, and on top of that, I even
won the
lottery! Plus, I keep finding dried meat on the side of the road! It’s been
absolutely
amazing!”
The young
girl’s deliberately loud voice made passerbys turn around, so as to see what
was going
on.
“Oh? That’s
wonderful to hear. But I’d recommend not eating dried meat you find on the
side of the
road. Now then, what brings you here today?”
“Actually,
I was hoping to get more of that magical charm! When I told my friends about
it, they
begged me to buy some for them...”
A few
people now stopped in their tracks, as to listen to the conversation happening
between the
two.
“Oh my,
that’s quite the dilemma... The charms I make are highly spiritual and very
difficult
to make. They’re very rare, so I only give them out to those who truly need
them.”
“Please,
make it work somehow! I’ll pay double–no, triple the price!”
The girl’s
desperate plea now caught the attention of many bystanders, who were now
trying to
get a glimpse of the charm they spoke of.
“Damn it!
We’re too late! A Grimm-brand charm is already going for triple the price!”
“That’s why
I told you we should hurry! What are we going to do now? Grimm-brand
charms only
go on sale once a year! If we miss this chance, we won’t be able to get one for
a
long time!”
Suddenly,
two rough looking men appeared.
The two men
approached the girl and...
“Hey little
lady. Listen, we don’t wanna cause any trouble. Just hand over the charm.”
“Fortune
teller lady, we’ll pay triple the price, so just sell them all to us, ok?”
Sensing the
tense atmosphere, the onlookers began to disperse, but at that moment...
“That’s far
enough!”
A loud
voice suddenly echoed through the street, causing everyone to turn at the
source.Striding in confidence, a lone hero clad in all black combat gear made
his entrance.
Yes—that
hero was me.
“Threatening
an innocent young girl and attempting to snatch the renowned
Grimm-brand
charm is absolutely outrageous! This fortune telling shop is under the
protection of
our
organization! If you want a charm, the rule is one per person! No looting, no
reselling!”
The two
men, taken aback by the sudden declaration, began to show signs of unease,
their faces
betraying a sense of fear within them.
“Damn it, I
guess we have to line up like everyone else...”
“No
choice... but if we could at least get our hands on one of those Grimm–brand
charms...”
“I-in that
case, I will do the same...”
Seeing the
men line up behind the young girl obediently as she said that, the onlookers
nodded to
each other and—
“We still
have plenty of charms, so please come line up and order them! One charm for
one gold
coin! That’s right, just one gold coin! These are highly effective, genuine,
Grimm–Brand
charms!”
As I raised
my arm to begin managing the line, Alice poked my arm lightly.
“Yo, No. 6,
how are things going over here? From the look of it, pretty smoothly.”
“Oh yeah,
you can see that they’re selling like crazy. We got Grimm, who looks like the
real deal,
Rose, playing the part of the innocent little girl, and Pierre and his men
acting as
shills,
creating a sense of exclusivity with a limited time sale–it’s almost too good
to be true!”
Right now
we’re making a fortune selling some charms, relying on Grimm, who is
unmatched
when it comes to shady dealings.
Spiritual
sensitivity, shilling, and premium marketing tactics.
And while
selling charms alone is profitable enough, this also serves another purpose.
“Um, excuse
me... may I have a moment?”
Glancing at
the line, a man looking like a merchant timidly called out to me.
“Is
something a matter? Would you like a Grimm–brand charm as well?”“Oh, no, no. I
was curious about what you said earlier, “This fortune telling shop is under
the
protection of our organization.” Does that mean that if we asked for your help,
you would
also help
protect us from those kinds of ruffians?”
Yes, this
is the by-product of our little act from earlier.
“But of
course! As for the fee, shall we discuss it over there?”
It’s
tradition to practice in evil corporations to work for some protection money.
4
It’s been
some time since I taught Pierre the Kisaragi way of conducting business.
According
to Alice, things have been going exceptionally well so far. If we could
continue to train
Pierre and
his gang and bring them under Kisaragi as front-line agents, they could surely
be
useful as
espionage agents here.
...Just as
I was thinking about that in my room in the castle, I heard a knock on my door.
“Hey, No.
6, you got a moment?”
The one who
knocked, looking somewhat down, was Snow.
“Oh? What’s
wrong? Did the Demon lord’s army make a move?”
A few days
have passed since we’ve conquered the tower of Duster, yet the demon
lord’s army
still remained quiet. That was helpful for our espionage activities, but...
“No, they
seem to have their attention focused on the Hero right now, so there aren’t
really any
issues at the moment. More importantly... About the mission I entrusted to you
before?
I’ve received some reports that the members of the dark guild have been lying
low
lately.”
“Ah, that?
We already took care of it. Turns out, they were actually pretty decent people
once we got
to talk to them. Now, they have this guy named Pierre leading them and they’re
doing
honest work.”
Hearing
that, Snow let out a small sigh and murmured softly,
“The leader
of the dark guild had a name like that..? Well, I suppose small-time crooks
would get
along with one another...”
........
“Hey, Snow.
You know, we actually get along pretty well too, don’t we?”“Cut that out! Don’t
lump me together with a thug like you! ...However, even though you
did what
was asked, there’s some bad news. In light of the dark guild having gone quiet,
the
mercenary
guild has started gaining influence.”
“...I
see... So it turned out that way after all.”
When a
shady organization that controls an area is eliminated, it’s normal for a new
group to
move in, aiming for that area’s profits and influence.
“...You
look like you saw this coming.”
“Of course
I did–This is my line of work after all. But well, while we’re talking, Alice
is
currently
training Pierre and his boys. They’ll take care of those guys too.”
Then, as if
only now realizing Alice was not present, Snow began to speak with
admiration.
“As
expected, my judgement was right! I knew you were the ones most suited for the
job!
As for
credit for this mission, don’t forget that it was I who nominated you!”
“Y-you...
after you dumped the job on us, you’re now asking for credit...? Well, fine,
but if
anything
happens to Pierre and the others, you have to back them up. After all, even though
they were
reformed through our training, they were originally just thugs.”
In response
to my somewhat hesitant words, Snow hit her chest confidently and said,
“Of course.
I gave the order to crack down on criminals after all. I have my connections
with the
authorities, so if it comes down to it, just drop my name. Even if you get
caught doing
something
reckless, I’ll make sure to cover it up.”
“I’ve been
thinking this for a while, but I think you should be the one getting arrested.”
———————
At the shabby
tavern serving as their hideout, I finished giving the rundown to the group
gathered.
“In other
words, because you guys have been behaving so well recently, it appears that
a new
organization has started to emerge. Since we’re already collecting protection
money from
the local
shops, we can’t let them just do whatever they want! So listen up everyone—If
you
spot anyone
causing any trouble around here, beat them down without hesitation!”
““““
Oh!!!””””
Perhaps
their mindset as agents were beginning to take form, as the former thugs’
spirits
rose.
Seeing the men so excited, Grimm and Rose couldn’t help but smile.“My, everyone
here has such a scary face, but they’re good people at heart. I’m not that
great at
fighting, but when it comes to supporting with curses, you can leave it to me!”
“I’m not
really sure what protection money really is, but if it means punishing bad
people,
then of
course I’ll help out too!”
These two
were at first really reluctant to help out with these guys, but now that
they’ve
warmed up
to them, they’ve really become reliable allies.
“At first I
thought it unthinkable to be involved with such a shady organization, but
you’ve
even helped
me spread the faith of Lord Zenarith. I can even baptize everyone in Lord
Zenarith’s
name, if anyone's willing!”
At Grimm’s
somewhat serious invitation, the men broke out into wry smiles.
“When the
boss asked me to help out with this, I was going to refuse at first, but when I
heard that
the item for sale was Grimm’s charms, I had to cooperate. And the charm really
does
feel like
it has some powerful effects! It’s a shame everyone shies away from it because
it’s
infused
with the power of a dark god though.”
“Hold it! I
won’t allow you to call Lord Zenarith a dark god!”
Grimm
snapped at Rose, but the words of the charm actually having an effect lingered
on my mind.
“Hey,
Grimm, do your charms actually work?”
“Of course
they work. Though it’ll make your chances of getting a partner disastrous.
“What?
Wait, Grimm, I didn’t know about that! If I knew about that, I wouldn't have
helped!”
Then Alice,
who had been counting gold coins, suddenly looked up.
“Next week,
we’re selling Grimm-brand pots. We expect to sell 500, so I expect your help
then too.”
“...W-wait
a minute Alice! I don’t wanna get involved in any shady business! I’m not
selling any
suspicious pots, ya hear?”
“I’m not
helping with that either!”
Saying
that, she frowned in distaste, ignoring the situation.“Alright you bastards,
we’re heading into the city now! Don’t worry about going a little
overboard,
we got a Knight, Snow, backing us up! If you see anyone suspicious, beat them
all
up!”
““““Ohhhhhh!!!””””
As I raised
my fist during my declaration, the rough and tough crew responded
enthusiastically,
not about to back down!
___
“And so,
the mercenary guild ‘SandStorm,’ lead by Gilbert Stiener, who has been
engaged in
fraudulent spiritual activities and illegal bodyguard work, was involved in a
series of
attacks on
individuals throughout the city. As a result, they are currently being detained
at the
police
station. However, they insist that Lady Snow is backing them...”
In the
royal castle’s chambers, the clam voice of the secretary echoed throughout.
The ones
receiving the report were the king, wearing a troubled expression, and
princess
Tillis, who despite wearing a smile, showed no signs of amusement.
Before the
two of them, bowing her head on the floor, was Snow. Accompanying her,
Alice,
Pierre, and I had also lowered our heads onto the carpet.
“Knight
Snow, raise your head.”
“Eeek...”
Called by
Tillis, Snow let out a voice sounding as if she were about to cry, before
raising
her head
slowly.
“What I had
ordered you to do was to eliminate the dark guild. How in the world did
things end
up like this?”
“What all due
respect, Lady Tillis, that’s what I’d like to know as well! Hey, No. 6, what in
the world
is going on!? You also mentioned someone named Pierre! What’s this nonsense
about
faking a
name?!”
Ignoring
Snow’s complaints, I stayed kneeling on the carpet and turned to Pierre,
“Hey,
Pierre, weren’t you guys supposed to be a part of the dark guild, made up of
criminals
and ruffians?”“What’s a dark guild? We’re rough around the edges, sure, but
we’re not criminals”
Come to
think about it, when I asked him about the job, he definitely said something
like
that.
"Our
job is to act as mercenaries during times of war and to fight the demons!” he
said,
or
something similar.
And when I
asked what the guild did, I’m pretty sure he said: “We’re a place that sends
people to
go and fight...”
I spoke to
Alice in Japanese.
“Hey Alice,
what’s going on here? This doesn’t match what Snow said.”
“Don’t
panic yet. That’s definitely the store Snow told us about, there’s no mistake.”
As we
whispered to one another, Pierre, who had been deep in thought, suddenly spoke
up.
“Come to
think of it, when we decided to make that shop our hangout, we got in a fight
with some
rough guys and drove them out...”
“We’ve got
it all wrong! Hey Alice, the dark guild from our first job was wiped out a long
time ago!”
“...It’s
too late to say this all happened just because we got the wrong guild. Don’t
show
any
weakness–Stay confident.”
...As we
whispered to one another in Japanese, Pierre shot us a suspicious look.
“...Um, No.
6-san, could it be that–”
“The Dark
guild was completely crushed by the mercenary guild led by Pierre.”
“We went to
the shop that was said to be the Dark Guild’s hideout, and under Snow’s
orders, we
completely crushed the mercenary guild.”
Snow’s eyes
widened in shock at the excuses Alice and I shot out, cutting off Pierre.
“I don’t
think this would have happened had someone not dumped their work onto us.”
“I don’t
think this would have happened had someone looked into the fact that the Dark
Guild was
already destroyed.”“H-Hold on, you two! Are you trying to shift all the blame
onto me?!”
Reading the
room, Pierre muttered something.
“Now that I
think about it, we only went all out because we heard Snow–san was going
to back us
up. Otherwise, we probably would have handled things more carefully...”
“W-wait a
minute!”
Caught off
guard, Snow couldn’t help but yell in surprise. Then, with a smile, Tillis
called
out to
Pierre, who had just ambushed Snow.
“Gilbert
Stiener, was it? I believe there may have been some misunderstandings
between us,
so I believe I’ll overlook this matter. Also, I heard that the mercenary guild
has been
operating
at a loss as of late. To make up for this entire inconvenience, I’ll reward
you. So... Will
you
continue fighting for this country?”
“Of course!
I appreciate your generosity!”
Pierre
immediately bowed his head in response. And Snow, as if joining in, smiled.
“Look at
this! The Dark Guild was defeated, so I guess we can all call this a happy
ending!”
—Thus, in
exchange for Snow taking a pay cut, the Dark Guild was eliminated from
town.
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